Selfishness...My Battle With Addiction...

Today, barely 2 days into the New Year (2017) I was privy to the most unselfish acts of love I have ever experienced.  And it took me back 47 years to a time when I first realized I was addicted to "Selfishness!"

Let me try to explain.  Selfishness (my own) nearly destroyed my wonderful, loving, trusting husband!  Selfishness (my own) nearly destroyed a family.  Selfishness (my own) nearly destroyed me!

I began my addiction in 1970, when I decided I was unhappy and needed verification, justification for my my un-Godly acts of selfishness.  (Let me clarify...I'm certain that it started long before this...probably in my childhood, but I began to recognize it in 1970.)  It grew to the uncontrollable stage in 1972, when I ran away, vowing never to return home!  And then something wonderful happened.   In 1974, my Saint of a husband wrapped his arms around me and told me he would walk this road to redemption with me.  And he did.

Repentance was not an easy road to travel, but with Gerry's and the Lord's help, I did travel it.  There are so many things, and even people, I had to give up in order to conquer Selfishness.  I had to learn to be Selfless...to put others and their needs ahead of my own.  This was new to me.    Even as a mother, I was Selfish!  But I was determined to conquer this addiction.

"Self-absorption in all its forms kills empathy, let alone compassion. When we focus on ourselves, our world contracts as our problems and preoccupations loom large. But when we focus on others, our world expands. Our own problems drift to the periphery of the mind and so seem smaller, and we increase our capacity for connection - or compassionate action.”
― Daniel Goleman, Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships

Today I realized that somewhere along this dark road of mine to reovery, I planted seeds of unselfish love, empathy and compassion to my children.  Early this morning, their brother reached out for help in making a decision that, at the time, seemed life-threatening.  Ir was as though the clouds parted and love shined down from the Heavens  and encircled my girls and Billy, their other brother, with wisdom.  Heather called upon cousin, Ann, to please get her boyfriend (an EMT) to get to Mark and assess him.  He is afraid of the expense of going to the hospital!  Within minutes, that was accomplished.  Prayers were sent Heavenward; tears were shed; and a blessing was poured down from Heaven.

Mark will be OK.  He just needs to take better care of himself.  My son(s) and daughters  are the most selfless people I know!  They always put others first before self.  However, when it comes to nutrition and caring for this tabernacle God gave us, we must not be too selfless there.  TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, MARK!  iILOVE YOU AND COULDN'T BEAR TO LOSE YOU!

Have I conquered my Selfishness?  Not entirely!  But, with the help of the Lord, I am more aware of my tendencies and I try tirelessly to put my own problems "in the periphery of  (my) mind" and am becoming more aware of how small they are now.  God help us to try each and every day to be like Him and create selfless acts and not selfish ones.  Like any addiction, the first step to recovery is to admit you have a problem.

"Hi, my name is Florene Davenport Henderson Mickelson, and I am addicted to Selfishness."

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The End of Another Year -- 2016...

What can I say?  I find it hard to believe another month has slipped through my fingers...let alone a whole year!  Where did it go?  Why can't we seem to hold on to every precious moment and savor it and treasure it before it is suddenly gone?

Actually, as I search through the cobwebs of my memory, I do find some moments hat were savored and treasured.  Follow me down the little path known as the year 2016.

It began simply enough...after a wonderful New Year's Eve party in Lincoln City with the Lincoln Pops Band playing wonderful music from the past and eating and dancing with friends.  Twenty-sixteen began the moment the clock finished striking twelve-midnight.

January found me doing some research on the condition of my eyes.  I have Macular Degeneration that is quickly proceeding to the wet stage.  My vision is important to me and it grieves me to think that I might lose even 1% of my eyesight, let alone nearly all of it!  My Opthalmaoogist, Dr. Hayes, informed me that there are shots that I can take routinely over the coming year that can stop the progression.  It is not a cure, but a deterrent to further loss of vision.  I prayed hard about this procedure and decided to go ahead and get the shots.

February didn't have too many moments to treasure.  We got our Taxes done and found that we owed $3,000.00!  That was not a happy moment, but it was better than last year...I guess that is one way to look at it.  Needless to say, Dean was not a happy man.  So, we needed a get-away to calm some nerves and give us a break from the routine.  We went to see Dad for a few days in Washington.  He is always a good relief from the doldrums of every day life and he gave us a few moments to treasure.

March...ah, March!  On the 24th, my daughter, Kim, flew me to Orange County to go spend a week with her...for her Birthday celebration on the 26th.  It was one of those trips that I wish I could take every month...to each of my children's...and there were just so many, many moments to savor and treasure.  Thank you, Kim, for being such a thoughtful and loving daughter.

April didn't have very many moments that I can recall.  Dean is playing his trumpet in a coastal orchestra and they put on two concerts.  I went to one of them and enjoyed the music a great deal.  These are Dean's moments to treasure!  He loves to play his trumpet whenever he gets the opportunity.

May was the month that wee waited for for an entire year!  We planned a trip to San Antonio, Texas to see what there was to see there.  Dean had the River Walk on his list...and Church with Max Lucado!  And I had the Alamo on my list.  Neither one of us was disappointed.  It was a wonderful trip!  We walked everywhere we went...and my feet paid the price for so much walking...in sandals!  We loved the River Walk; we were moved by the sermon Max Lucado gave in his church; we visited the old Mexican village; we toured the old flour mill and some of the original houses in the area; we toured several cathedrals; and we visited the World's Fair grounds still there from so very long ago.  All in all, it was a memorable trip and will live in our memories for a great while.

At the end of our trip, we took a short detour home through Las Vegas and St. George.  I had to carry on as the family representative and hold a memorial for my beloved little sister, Patricia, who passed away last December.  There was a great turnout of family who told their stories and memories of Patti.  Chrisie sang a beautiful song, "Wind Beneath My Wings," while she accompanied herself on the guitar with a grandson, Trace, who was also there to playmharmony on his guitar.  I loved it.

The last night before we flew home, we just ran around Las Vegas!  It was crazy to watch all those very interesting people!  We went up for a ride on the giant ferris wheel, patterned after the one in London!  Ah, memories.

June found us moving... again!  Weren't we moving just last June?  Yes, we were.  The house we were living in had a very steep set of stairs that I was finding more and more difficult to maneuver every day.  So, we searched for a one level home and found one just one block away!  It was an interesting and memorable move!  And, I hope we never have to do it again!  But, then, I say that every time.  And I know that we will at some point in the distant future...and I am hiring a moving company!

July was a distress filled month.  I had a misunderstanding with my only sister, and I have lost her.  I have never in my life felt such excruciating pain.  Not even when Patti died.  It took me weeks to finally resolve myself to the idea that  this life is difficult, people make choices and it is but a brief moment in our "full life's span."  Everything will work out in the end.  Father in Heaven will take charge and make everything right in the end.  I will look forward to that day.

August,.,.not a very exciting month!  September...w got to go to Redmond for a visit with Billy and Alicia and the girls.  Love that little family.  Billy really did good finding that girl.  What started out "iffy," tuned out to be an enormous blessing for everyone!

October...no memories made this month!  November..ah!  Thanksgiving.  I have so much to be thankful for this year,  I have received about 6 shots into my left eye for the AMD and can testify it has saved what vision I have left.  It isn't the best, but it is good enough that I can still drive.  Also thankful for Dr. Prinz, who is helping me conquer my foot pain (Plantar Fasciitis).  It has been with me since May and could be with me another year or so.  But, at least, it is better and easier to walk...as long as I support my foot!  My list of things to be thankful for is a mile long, but just suffice it to say, I am thankful for my life...the whole of it!  The ups and downs; the ins and outs; the good days and the bad days; well, just the whole of it!

December...this brings me to this month, and oh, what a month it has been.  On the 6th, we flew to Salt Lake City to enjoy a masterful performance by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir for their Christmas Concert in the Conference Center. Debi was abler to snag us some amazing seats and the four of us (Dean and I, JerriAnne and Debi) all had an amazing night of it.  That was near the top of my Bucket List, and will live in my memory for a very long time!  Dean also wanted to hear the Organ play in the Tabernacle, so we caught a Saturday afternoon concert.  He was mesmerized!  A memory to savor for him!

When we flew home (actually to Seattle), we picked up Dad to bring him to our house for a while.  We wanted to keep him here till Christmas, but he wouldn't hear of it.  So, I drove him home the week before Christmas and drove back home by myself.  I had to make a little side trip to Portland to see another Eye specialist who would advise me on my lazy eye.  He prescribed a prism lens for my right eye and no surgery!  I was glad to hear that.  Actually, the prism lens works miracles for me.  Science is wonderful.

Dean and I had a quiet Christmas alone this year.  Talked to nearly all of our kids and shared a burnt Lasagna!  (Dean was a trooper and ate it anyway!)  I am failing in the cooking department these days!

That pretty much brings me to tonight.  Dean and I have no plans, but it is always a joy to reminisce over the past year and give thanks for the many blessings that have come our way.  He isn't feeling very well the past few days, so we are just staying in and will watch the ball drop on Time's Square and wish each other a Happy New Year!

God bless all of His children...wherever they may be this night.  I pray for peace to come to the earth in the coming year.  We have a new President (forgot to mention that) and we shall see where he takes us.

                                          HAPPY NEW YEAR!            

A Very Thankful Day...

Thanksgiving Day has come and gone, and our celebration was wonderful, surrounded by our Ward Family and friends.  I took Candied Yams, a combination of how my mom used to make them and how Dean's mom made them.  They were delicious and a huge hit.  I mashed the yams with butter and browbn sugar, poured them into a baking dish and covered them with brown sugsar and a nice layer of the little marshmallows.  I put them in the oven @ 350 degrees and baked only until the tops of the marshmallows were golden brown.

I also took some homemade Cranberry Sauce...always a favorite at Mickelson, Henderson and Davenport Thanksgiving meals.  The rest of the meal was supplied by other Ward members.  There was everything from Turkey, Dressing, Gravy, Yams, Green Bran Casserole, a delicious Corn dish made like Potato Au Gratin, a variety of Salads, Rolls and delicious Pies.  It was a feast of food and a feast of friendship.

It is hard to believe that another Thanksgiving has come and goner.  Last year at this time, we were enjoying the Holiday with Eliot and Tamiya in Colorado Springs and "The Lion King," Broadway style in Denver!  Next Year?  Who knows where we will celebrate.

Now, with 29 days lefdt until Christmas, we will focus on the Celebration oif a miraculous birth and LOVE!

Happy Holidays!

Thanks-giving...

How is it that we can live in "the best of times" and at the same time live in "the worst of times?"  As my daughter, Kim, reminded me recently, "our day has been prophesied."  The Prophets of old saw our day and they saw tumultuous times everywhere in the world.

But, they also gave us a key and a promise.
``````````````The key is that we follow the Prophets, spend every single day reading and pondering the scriptures, keeping the commandments and basically, living righteous lives.
`````````````The promise is that we will be blessed to be able to get through these troubled times and return home to our Heavenly Father, which is the ultimate goal of our journey through life.

I have a strong testimony of the truthfulness of these things and how grateful I am today for my parents who taught me "to question with boldness" and take my questions to the Lord, who will answer them and give me peace in my life.

I was pondering the other day remembering another tumultuous time in my life.  I was but a small child, age 2, when WWII threatened to come to our shores.  The Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor!   It was December 7, 1941. As the war with Japan wore on, their reconnaissance and fighter planes flew over the entire west coast of the United States.

We lived in Santa Monica, California, and I remember black-outs and planes flying overhead and huddling in our living room with nothing but a candle for light.  The sound of the planes scared me, but I had a loving mother, just like a mother hen, who took her children under her wings, comforted us and told us to pray.  When we prayed, we received comfort.

My dad was an Air Raid Warden and when the sirens sounded, he donned his hard hat and kissed his family goodbye and went out the front door into the darkness.  I was scared for him!  He was our strength and our protector...and he was protecting us by monitoring the streets and skies and doing his job.

My parents were the salt of the earth.  They were my examples that I patterned my life after.  Families are the core unit of this country and we need to protect our families at all costs.  I would give my life for my family.  As I walk the path at the end of the road, I have a lot of time to look back and this memory was just one of many that I don't want to forget.  My stories, though personal to me, need to be passed on to my grandchildren and great-grandchildren.  I love you all so very much.

Give thanks this coming Thanksgiving Day for family!

Thanks-giving...

How is it that we can live in "the best of times" and at the same time live in "the worst of times?"  As my daughter, Kim, reminded me recently, "our day has been prophesied."  The Prophets of old saw our day and they saw tumultuous times everywhere in the world.

But, they also gave us a key and a promise.
``````````````The key is that we follow the Prophets, spend every single day reading and pondering the scriptures, keeping the commandments and basically, living righteous lives.
`````````````The promise is that we will be blessed to be able to get through these troubled times and return home to our Heavenly Father, which is the ultimate goal of our journey through life.

I have a strong testimony of the truthfulness of these things and how grateful I am today for my parents who taught me "to question with boldness" and take my questions to the Lord, who will answer them and give me peace in my life.

I was pondering the other day remembering another tumultuous time in my life.  I was but a small child, age 2, when WWII threatened to come to our shores.  The Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor!   It was December 7, 1941. As the war with Japan wore on, their reconnaissance and fighter planes flew over the entire west coast of the United States.

We lived in Santa Monica, California, and I remember black-outs and planes flying overhead and huddling in our living room with nothing but a candle for light.  The sound of the planes scared me, but I had a loving mother, just like a mother hen, who took her children under her wings, comforted us and told us to pray.  When we prayed, we received comfort.

My dad was an Air Raid Warden and when the sirens sounded, he donned his hard hat and kissed his family goodbye and went out the front door.  I was scared for him!  He was our strength and our protector...and he was protecting us by monitoring the streets and skies and doing his job.

My parents were the salt of the earth.  They were my examples that I patterned my life after.  Families are the core unit of this country and we need to protect our families at all costs.  I would give my life for my family.  As I walk the path at the end of the road, I have a lot of time to look back and this memory was just one of many that I don't want to forget.  My stories, though personal to me, need to be passed on to my grandchildren and great-grandchildren.  I love you all so very much.

Give thanks this coming Thanksgiving day for family!

The Gospel of Love...

I am writing these words because of what is happening all across America and even the world since our election of 2016.

Acts 1:8  "But ye shall receive power, after that the Holy Ghost is come upon you: and ye shall be witnesses unto me both in Jerusalem, and in all Judea, and in Samaria, and unto the uttermost parts of the earth."

Jesus Christ, the ambassador of peace, the one who preached LOVE in His Gospel, commanded His Disciples to first, "...receive power, after the Holy Ghost is come upon you..." and second, "...ye shall be witnesses...unto the t uttermost parts of the earth."  His was truly a Gospel of Love.

The Disciples (Apostles) carried out their mission, and the world repaid them with death, and Paul was imprisoned on the Isle of Patmos.  The world, for the most part, was not ready to receive this Gospel.  Today, we send emissaries (missionaries) of Christ to all the world, and still some are not ready to hear.

For more than 2,000 years, the Gospel of Love has been taught in nearly every corner of the world, and still there are those who choose hate over love.  Why?  Not because they are influenced by others (though there are those who also preach the Gopel of Hate), but by that power who made it his mission to thwart the mission of Jesus Christ.  His name was Lucifer in the Heavens, before the world was, and he has taken upon himself the name of Satan to rule in this world.

It is a battle that began in Heaven and will continue until that great and powerful Day of the Lord when Jesus Christ returns to usher in a New Millennium.  Most will cry, "At last!"  But still some will cry, "No-o-o-o!"

Though we are not officially called upon to preach to the world Christ's Gospel of Love, we can certainly be examples to others.  But be prepared for opposition, "for there must needs be opposition in all things."  Receive it graciously, with Love, and with compassion.

I belong to a Church that believes in supporting our elected officials, whether it be Local, State or Federal.  We recently held an extremely controversial election, with heated discussions coming from both sides of the aisle.  We believe in the rights of the citizens to have their opinions and beliefs, but we do not encourage Hate speech or demonstrations.

Our Twelfth Article of Faith states: "We believe in being subject to kings, presidents, rulers, and magistrates, in obeying, honoring, and sustaining the law."  In other words, we believe in accepting the peoples choices, even though we disagree.  We believe in praying before an election (my own belief, anyway) and accepting the outcome as God's will for the people.  He is the only one who is all-knowing, all-seeing, and all-powerful.  We will learn from this election process, just as we have learned from ALL of the selected Authorities in the past.

I agree that there is corruption in the "Kingdom," from the top ,trickling all the way down to the bottom.  This is Satan's work and we must be vigilant in crying, "fight him!"  History is full of examples of wicked "Kingdoms" and the people have always managed to figure out how to rid themselves of their oppression.  From the Bible to European history to American to the history of any country on the face of the earth, the cycle has repeated itself over and over again.  But, what have we learned?  Nothing, except that there is a cycle...perhaps this time, we can handle it differently.  I don't think we will.

We can try.  Paul tried, Noah tried, Moses tried, Jesus tried, George Washington tried.  Do you know why "Jesus wept? " It wasn't for Himself, but for His people.  He knew there would be millions, perhaps billions of people who would not get His Gospel of Love.

Today's world is proof that there are those who oppose the message, but there are more who accept it.  Whose side are you on?

What If...

I have this picture on my screen and I smile every morning as I open my computer and this picture smiles back at me.  This morning, as I looked at the smile on Jesus' face, the thought came to me...what if Joseph had fled to another country when he learned of Mary's condition?  What if Mary, given her circumstances in a time when a single, pregnant woman would be stoned and banned, decided to go away somewhere dark and find someone willing to abort her child?  Where would mankind be today?  History would have been changed. forever

What if that little one you are about to abort, the "nothing but tissue" lies others have told you, was destined to be the greatest leader to ever live upon the face of the earth?  What if he or she was destined to be the next  greatest Musician, Poet, Artist, Architect, Philosopher, Teacher, bringer of Peace or Leader of the Free World, or yes, even a Prophet?  I can only imagine what our Country would be like without a George Washington, Benjamin Franklin, Thomas Jefferson,  Abraham Lincoln, Edison, Ford, General Eisenhower, and the list goes on and on and on.  I can only imagine!

The giver of Life made our first parents great promises and a helpful warning...that life in the world would not always be easy.  He gave them the Garden of Eden so they would "remember home."  And then he gave them their proving ground.

Please, those of you who seek to throw precious life away, seek for the "easy path," or think "your lot is hard," raise up your eyes to the Heavens and rejoice for the Angels are watching.

I woke up this morning and it was raining, but still the birds were singing.  I knew the sun was shining somewhere, because there was light in the sky.  My home was warm and full of love because we have been given so much within a world that chooses darkness.  Today, my brain still works...though there are signs that it is slowing down.  My eyes still see, though not as clearly as they used to.  My ears still hear, though dimly.  I am still able to walk across a space without stumbling into a chair or walking into a wall, though my limbs are showing signs of the effects of age.  And I am so grateful that my fingers can still find the correct letters on a keyboard...a memory track set in place when I was but a young teen.  And the thoughts in my head can be transferred through complicated brainwaves to the tips of my fingers.

God is SO good!  Please stop your disrespect of Him.  Give Him the honor and love that He gives to you each and every day.  Together, we can make a beautiful world again.