My life is a journey...I never know who or what I will meet just around the next bend that will give my life experience!

Thursday, April 30, 2020

Experience Leads to Compassion


I have been trying to come up with something to write about for the past several weeks, and every time I would sit down to write, I came up empty.  It's not that there hasn't been a multitude of subjects to talk about, it's just that I couldn't wrap my heart around any of them.

Today, however, I was blind-sided by the experiences of a dear friend that turned my thoughts away from the news of the day and toward something altogether different and perhaps a lot more important.  It is the subject of Compassion!  What is compassion?

Modern definitions would include "Sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortunes (of others)."  Webster describes it this way.  I would go a step or two further and say that it is more like after walking the same type of path another is walking, we are able to feel what they are feeling.  In other words, what they are experiencing, we once experienced.  Therefore, we can empathize and feel compassion for their experience.

My friend is going through horrendous experiences right not and she has confided in me about them.  Why me?  Because I have experienced these things before in my past.  I can relate to her experiences and perhaps offer some degree of help by sharing with her what I have learned.  We have a compatible relationship and a common bond because of this.  I can offer her my compassion.

While helping another, I turned to my own life and found that I am trying to show compassion to myself. That sounds a bit strange, but we all can use a little compassion in our lives..  I am going through some really hard physical and emotional trials right not.  I am suffering from AMD (Adult onset Macular  Degeneration.). I am slowly going blind.  I say slowly, because I have had significant vision loss in my right eye for  17 years.  That loss of vision was caused by a stroke within my right eye which destroyed the Optic Nerve...or most of it.  What vision I have left in that eye is useless.

Four years ago, the AMD in my left eye went suddenly from the dry stage to the wet stage and has ultimately left me with a blindspot in the center of that eye.  I received treatment immediately with intravitreal injections with the drug, Ranibizumab or Lucentis.    This inhibits the growth of tiny vessels, which occlude the vision.  Though this is not a cure, it can slow the progression of the AMD.    I hav e had a total of 9 injections plus one Laser treatment.  My AMD was slowed down and for 3 1/2 years, did not progress.

In the last 6 months, I have noticed a worsening of the vision or the blindspot in my left eye.  At this time, I do not have a Retinal Specialist that I can depend on to see me.  The one I had is in Phoenix and comes to Prescott at least once a month.  My problem with him is that I cannot seem to connect with anyone who can make me an appointment with him.  So, I am searching for another one.  I am in a dilemma.  And I am very hard on myself.  I am in a hard place.

All of this has turned my heart to my own mother.  She also had this degenerating disease.  I remember how sad she was when she could no longer read books or her scriptures.  I tried to get her to listen to books on tape or her scriptures on tape, but she was not interested.  She got very despondent.  The next thing she had to give up was her ability to drive a car.  Slowly, her independence was being taken away from her and her depression worsened.

I was not kind to my mother back then.  I grew impatient with her and had a hard time being around her.    I was looking at her glass half empty and could not feel what she was feeling.  I now can feel every bit of her pain, because I am going through the same process.  I cannot drive any more; I cannot read a book or my scriptures; I need a very large and stron magnifying glass to read the screen of mat computer; and I need the aid of head-gear magnifiers to crochet the little baby blankets I am making for my new G-Granddaughters.  Because of my experiences, I can appreciate my mother's even more.  It is too bad that she is in Heaven, because I want to hug her tight and tell her how very sorry I am.

Through all of this, I am reminded that I have a Savior who loves name and I know He will carry me through my own experiences; and I know He will carry my friend through hers as well.  I love my Savior and I love that He is always there for us.  He has walked where we walk; He has experienced our pains and frustrations; He has sunk to the depths of the Hell that we are going through; and He has great compassion for each and every one of us.

Now, let us take those experiences and this knowledge and be more compassionate toward others...whether or not we have experienced their pains.  We can show an increase of love for them and offer our help to them to get them through their life's experiences.