There Goes Another One...

 I cannot believe today is the last day of yet another year!  Why, only yesterday it seems as though it was only just begun.  I am sitting at my desk on this 31st day of December, 2022, and I am trying to recapture all of the events of this past year.  There were many!

In February, Dean was diagnosed with Prostate Cancer and that threw him into a long debate of whether or not he should have the surgery of just go straight to the radiation therapies recommended by his Oncologist.  It was a long debate!  At the conclusion of what seemed like a lifetime, he opted to see a Urology Surgeon in Phoenix who did Robotic Surgery.  A couple of weeks later, he drove himself to his cousin/s house in Phoenix who took him to the hospital for the surgery.  I had to stay home, because I don't drive and I couldn't go into the hospital with him anyway.  I felt so helpless...all I could do was pray and wait.

The surgery went well, and in a couple of days, he was able to drive home.  I was glad to see him again and glad that I was able to assist with his recovery.  That  recovery period was a slow process, but we managed to get him over the hump and back to the Doctor for a follow-up visit.  I was able to go with him this time.  The Doctor said he was doing fine and ordered a PSA test in a couple of weeks.  That test was a little high, so he would have another one in another few weeks.  Again, it was high and going up.  At this point Dean consulted again with his Oncologist, who talked at great length with us about why his PSA was up and he recommended radiation therapy...the one treatment we had tried to avoid.

And so began four weeks of radiation treatments.  At the end, his PSA was at a decent level and we were relieved.  Cancer and its treatments are not for sissies!  For now, it is all behind us.  He still has to monitor his PSA levels and each time we pray for good results.

My children are doing pretty well.  Mark is struggling with the loss of his teeth since his oral Cancer and treatments.  After the gums healed, he was able to get "new teeth," and he has joined my club of learning how to tolerate these foreign bodies in our mouths.  (I got a whole new set myself, as the old ones were wearing out and not fitting well anymore!). Kim is enjoying her roll as Grandmother of 10.  We enjoy the reports and pictures.  Debi continues to be active in golf, although she has had to give up softball!  She is awaiting a shoulder replacement in January!  She just wore the darned thing out over the years.  She also battles skin Cancer, like her mother!  

JerriAnne is continuing to love here career with the blind school in Springville, Utah.  Oh, how she loves those children.  Heather works much too hard and was asked to give up one of her jobs... the Real Estate market is suffering right now, so they laid her off.  That has been a blessing in disguise for her.    What's this I hear about a planned trip to London next year?  I'm jealous!  In August, we shared her surprise 50th Birthday Party in Las Vegas with Rich, Elissa and a lot of family and friends.  That was a wonderful party!  And last, but far from least, is Billy.  He has pretty much settled into his new/old life in Redmond, Oregon and tells me he is very happy and "peaceful," as he puts it.  We miss him here.  He and Monica did come here in October for a visit and we just couldn't get enough of him.  He was only here for 2 days!

n July we ventured a trip to Truth or Consequences, New Mexico to visit with my sister, Chrisie!  We had a wonderful time.  We talked Hal, my brother-in-law, to come with us and I really think he enjoyed himself.  We even went to see Sue (Chrisie's friend) perform at the local Elk's Club.  She really puts on a great show!  All inb all, we had a wonderful trip.  We even stopped in Hatch to pick up some green chili's.  Chrisie and Sue helped Dean and I get those chili's stripped and put in baggies and frozen to take home!  Dean loves those things!

The last couple of months have been pretty quiet around here, except we did travel to Laughlin, Nevada for Thanksgiving with Hal and his granddaughter, Stasia and her husband and baby, Lennix.  It was a most unusual Thanksgiving celebration, but great to be with family again.  After that, we made a little detour to St. George to see Mark for a couple of days.  He recently suffered a spider bite to his left hand and his right thumb.  The left hand required surgery!  Poor guy...he just can't seem to catch a break these days!  

Dean did surprise me with the honor he was given to play "Taps" at Military Funerals at the National Cemetery in Prescott, as well as several other sites around the valley.  He is now serving his country in a very special way and I am so proud of him.

We celebrated the Christmas season with the many Concerts in the area.  Dean was involved in about 4 of them.  It is a busy season for him and I get to be a grateful audience!  My days of participation are behind me.  We did sing a duet at his Church one Sunday, and that felt good to participate in something once again.  

The Christmas season brought so many memories of Christmases of old to mind and I had a wonderful time this year decorating the house and the tree, baking goodies and just loving the season.  The realization that family and friends are ever more important in my life was a glorious one.  And, of course, keeping the REAL reason for the season uppermost in our minds gave me so much peace and love for the season...probably more than I have felt in years.  Somehow it made all of the chaos going on in the world pale by comparison.  Thank you, Jesus, for being born into this crazy world and for all that you did for us and for all that you taught us.  Your sacrifice has been such a great example for me in my life.  

And so, with the day dwindling away, I bid a fond farewell to another year with these words...

        ...At the end of the year, when your heart needs a lift--get involved with Christmas music, immerse yourself into sending out Cards and Letters to loved ones, buy or make special gifts for loved ones, enjoy the sparkling lights all around you, and smile every time you turn on the lights of your own tree...and most of all cuddle in your heart that beautiful little baby, born in a cattle stall and laid to rest on a bed of hay.  Do a kind deed for someone in need.  If you do all of these things with love and thanksgiving, your heart will be full and the season will surely be bright.

God bless you, every one!

And now, we prepare to welcome in a whole new year.  Though we don't know what experiences it will bring, we do know that each and every day is in the Master's Hands and All is Well!

                HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Water Under The Bridge...

 I stand on a bridge and look over the rail.  First, I contemplate where the water came from, and second, I move to the other side and I try to imagine where it is going.  My life's experiences are like the water flowing under that bridge.  Looking back, I see clearly how each and every experience has shaped my life and given me perspectives that can come by no other way.  

Some of those experiences were planted into my life's garden by bad choices.  Like weeds, they grew and nearly strangled me and ruined my beautiful garden!  But, I gathered strength and pulled each and every one of those nasty weeds out of my garden, making it easier to grow again.  Bad choices just seem to creep in sometimes when you least expect them  But if I catch them early and recognize them for what they are, reverse my course, "pull the little weed," then my work later won't be so hard.  And those experiences become just "water under the bridge."

Mostly, I have made extremely good choices which have nourished me and helped me to grow in oh, so many ways!  Good choices, like choosing to go to a place where I could find a good man to marry; choices like wanting and having a large family; and choices like staying close to my Savior when I need Him most.  Those choices are like the sunshine that nourishes my garden.  Whenever I let the light of the Gospel into my life, and pray often, then I can move easily along the path of my life, and my journey is not burdened with noxious weeds.  Good experiences are also "water under that bridge!"

Such has been the experiences of my life thus far.  Now, I step to the other side of the bridge and watch the water flow farther and farther away from me.  I have no idea where the rest of my life is going, nor do I know where the water will end, but I do know the direction I have chosen for my life.  All of our future experiences cannot be seen, because we do not know what storms may come; what unexpected choices we will be faced with; what lies at the end of the journey.  And so, the water's destination and my own are unknown.

I have plotted my course and it leads me to a glorious end in heaven surrounded by all of the family and friends who have traveled their own path to reach their goals.  That much is my greatest desire and I work daily to reach it!  Oh, what a glorious day that will be.  I truly look forward to it!

Meanwhile, I will set my canoe upon those waters and travel along the way to my destination, welcoming whatever new experience the Good Shepherd has in store for me.  I know it probably sounds a little morbid to speak of these things, but I am in the sunset of my life.  I've lived much longer than I ever anticipated I would.  At some point, known only to the Lord, it will end.

Many days, I feel like I can continue on my journey for another 10-20 years.  My aging body is slowing down, but my heart and my mind are not. If the Good Lord permits it, perhaps I shall see His glorious Second Coming.  I would love that!  But, alas, we do not know when that day will be.  It could be very soon in our time, or somewhere in the distance.  Nevertheless, all the righteous of the world will rejoice and I picture even the confused ones seeing His light and falling to their knees ready to repent and they, too shall receive Him.

Meanwhile, I will stand on my proverbial bridge and ponder!

Families Are Forever...

Mama, Darell, Chrisie & Patti

c. 1989

 From my earliest recollections, Families have been the most important circle of my existence!  Though I don't remember the event, I am sure the first person's face in my family that I saw was my Mother!  Ah!  My Mother!  She was my constant companion and the cutting of the umbilical cord could not separate us!

But life moves forward and slowly, ever so slowly, others entered between my Mother and I.  First came me Dad, then my Brother, then my friends, and then came Gerry!  Though he was the love of my life, leaving my Mother was difficult, somehow.  I remember every vacation we ever had in our married life together had to be to my Mother's home!  Pretty selfish, huh?  But Gerry went along with my wishes and home it was for vacation.

My Daddy was the second most important family member in my life.  He was my protector, my teacher, my guide, my disciplinarian and my friend.  He scolded me when I did wrong, he praised me when I did right and his love for me was never changing, unconditional.  Both of my parents have gone to Heaven now, but I know that I will see and be with them again for eternity.  The same is true of my husband, Gerry.  He is gone now, too but we will be together for eternity also.

My brother, Darell, though my greatest tease when we were kids, became my best friend after our parents were gone.  He was my rock.  We loved reminiscing about "the good old days when we were kids" and even about some more recent experience together that we cherished.  And, guess what...he is gone now, too and I miss him.

There is a gap of 9 years between my sister, Chrisie and I, but in the past few years, that gap doesn't seem so wide anymore and we ave become great friends.  She always has and still does make me laugh!  She knows the deep sorrow of widowhood and we relate to that a lot.  Thank goodness she is still living so we can still share experiences together.

My "baby sister," Patti was 18 years younger that me.  We were never really close, more like a mother-daughter relationship.  She went through a rough period of depression several years ago, after Mom passed.  That episode led to dementia and then to Alzheimers, which eventually claimed her life.  She passed nearly 6 years ago.  I miss the little stink!  But thanks to our beliefs and the miracle of Temple work, she, too will be with us in the eternities as a family again.

That is the family I grew up with.  The family I love!  The family that shaped me and made me into the woman I am.  The family I will spend eternity with.

The family that I was blessed with...

All of my growing up years were spent dreaming about marriage and then a family.  I always wanted to be a "Mom!"  I married Gerry (Gerald Vernon Henderson) on June 7, 1958 in the Los Angeles Temple of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  It was a beautiful summer day and carried with it the hope of a bright future. Gerry was a Geologist and with that job came a lot of travel and moving.  I think we moved 10 times before settling down in Southern California in 1970.  What a wonderful adventure.  And we filled our home with nearly perfect, beautiful children.

(The above picture has 5 of my children in it, plus my sister, Chrisie and Granddaughter, Abbie.  (And me!)

Our firstborn, Kimberlee Laurie was born on March 26, 1959 in Santa Monica, California.  She was the most perfect little baby girl I had ever seen and I fell in love with her immediately.  I loved just holding her and cuddling her and nurturing her.  As she grew, that love never faded.  She was never a problem child and I was grateful for that.  She fulfilled her destiny to become  a wife and mother and has given me 4 grandchildren and 10 great-grandchildren (at the time of this writing).  What a wonderful legacy from my firstborn.

One year after Kim's birth came Mark (Mark Randall).  He was born on March 21, 1960.  Gerry was so delighted with his little boy and his little girl.  He wanted to stop right there because we had the perfect family.  For a while, Kim and Mark grew into great buddies, but over the years, they became the individual little people they were meant to be.  Kim, the perfect little lady, and Mark, the rough and tumble "normal" little boy.  I loved watching them grow.

Mark had a rough life, and when his Dad died, he withdrew more and more into himself.  He was married twice and had 4 children (2 from each marriage).  Life has not been kind to my son.  He is a Cancer surviver, but it left him toothless and has only part of his tongue.  He is very self-conscious of his speech impediment.  Over the years, he has become a great friend to me.  I love my son so much.  He has added those 4 grandchildren (as mentioned above) and 2 great-grandchildren to my family tree.

Two years after Mark was born, along came Debi (Debra Dawn).  She was totally unexpected and not planned...and Gerry was nervous about a growing family.  He had come from a family of 9 children and grew up on Welfare.  He wanted better than that for his family thus became a work-a-holic!  He would have been content to stop at 2.  What can I say?  It takes two to make this happen and I tried my best to be the obedient wife.  At any rate, Debi was the product of our love and now there were three.  She was born on January 14, 1962 in the middle of a snow storm!

Debi was a delightful little girl...quite the opposite personality of Kim.  She was actually a little girl copy of Mark!  She was a joy to have in our family and I really was glad she was here.  Gerry took to her, too and loved his little girls.  Debi grew up to be quite a sweet young woman.  She was much like my sister, Chrisie..athletic and loves the outdoors.  She didn't choose well in the marriage department.  Like her love for baseball, it was "two down and one to go"...the third one truly was her "home run."  She was blessed with two children from y her first marriage.  And those two brought forth 2 great-grandchildren for me.  "I love you, Debi.  You bring joy into my life!

Another two years passed, and I was getting "baby hungry!"  Gerry was gone a lot and I was home alone a lot of the time.  I needed another baby to love.  So, I prayed for another one.  And the Lord heard my prayers and sent another sweet little girl to our family.  All Gerry could say was, "Oh, No!"  But I knew that deep in his heart, he loved his children...each and every one of them.  And the Lord had provided all the work he would ever need to support them.  

We had a hard time coming up with a name for her, but settled on JerriAnne.  It fit her perfectly.  She was born on May 28, 1964, Memorial Day Weekend!  She had some difficulties as an infant.  She was allergic to many things and developed a raging UTI, which the Dr. diagnosed as the result of an anomaly in her urinary tract.  She had  two Ureters coming down from her right kidney.  That is what caused the urine to back up and resulted in infections.  She eventually out grew it, as the Dr. said she would.

JerriAnne adored her big sister, Debi and tried to be like her in every way.  Debi did not like that and pushed JerriAnne away constantly.  As a result, they are not the best of friends...even to this day.  I wish I could have made it different for them, but I couldn't when they were little and I certainly cannot today.  I do love both of my girls, however.  JerriAnne was not lucky in the love department.  She had a few boyfriends, but never could find the "right one."  So, she remains single.  She loves children, and because she never had any of her own, she became a teacher and her love of children led her to teaching little blind ones.  They are her children!

After JerriAnne was born, Gerry decided he wanted to go back to school to get his Doctorate and eventually teach at the University level.  So, with 4 children and a little trailer with our family belongings, the Henderson family headed to Champaign, Illinois and the University of Illinois Geology/Clay Mineralogy Department for 3 years.  Those 3 years were the hardest of my life...and I'm sure they weren't easy for Gerry.  He went to school and studied, and I went to work and took care of children.  Their ages at this point ranged from 7 down to 2 years of age.

Though those 3 years were difficult, I have to say they were the most rewarding of our lives.  Gerry accomplished his goal and I loved being his "help-meet." In February of 1969, we headed to Southern California, where Gerry would begin his Teaching career.  His first job was part-time at a California University in Los Angeles.  He also did some night teaching at USC.  In June of 1970, we moved to Rowland Heights, and in the fall he started his full-time job at Cal-Poly University in Pomona.  He loved that job.  He got along well with his students and was looked up to by the staff, eventually becoming Head of the Geology Department (Earth Sciences).

On August 2, 1972, we welcomed our fifth and final child to the world.  Heather Colleen was a beautiful little girl and would "dance" her way into my heart.  It had been 8 years since I had JerriAnne, and I was a little rusty.  Oh, my!  We now had 4 girls and 1 boy...much to Mark's dismay!  He told me once to do him a favor and not have anymore, because he already had too many sisters!  He was their tease, but I suspect deep in his heart he really loves them.

Heather was a natural-born dancer...much like her mother.  I was elated with that.  I loved watching her dance in recitals and plays and all around the house.  Shen she was 8-years-old, we lost her daddy.  He died suddenly of a heart attack on February 7, 1981.  It was a huge loss for this family.  I didn't know how we were going to carry on without him.  For months, I was numb and would ask the Lord, "Why did He have to take my Soul-Mate?"  Why did He need him more than I did?"  I don't think I ever really got an answer that satisfied me.  I missed Gerry terribly.  But, I knew we were a forever family and we would be together again.  And somehow, I knew he would always be close by to guide me.

A new course, a new ship and a new rudder...

I don't know why Gerry had to die at such a young age...I have given up questioning.  But, at the age of 49, on February 7, 1981 he was called home to Father for another purpose.  We all miss him terribly!  Though it was a struggle at first, I had to go on.  Kim had to go on with her plans for a June wedding.  Mark had to go on with finding his purpose in life.  Debi had to go on with whatever plans she was making for her future.  JerriAnne had to go on and finish High School.  And Heather had to go on and grow up (she was only 8!).

In the beginning it was hard.  I only had a part-time job and supporting this household was no easy task.  I met with a financial advisor and cried, "Help!"  He did just that.  We set up some accounts for the two younger girls, set aside $$ for the three older ones, put away some $$ for. myself, and planned a "dream" vacation for me.  I chose a Cruise to Alaska.  It was planned for August.  I would take Debi and JerriAnne with me.

I will never forget that trip...for many reasons!  It was a first for me and having my two daughters with me was such a blessing.  I saw some of the most beautiful scenery God has to offer in this part of our world.  When we weren't touring the stops along the way (Juneau, Ketchikan and Skagway), we were at some buffet or dinner party "eating" the most wonderful food there was to offer on a Cruise.  AND, I met my "future" on the very first day on board.  His name was Dean Mickelson...14 years my younger...a Pharmacist from Taos, New Mexico (never heard of it!)

It was great fun to get to know this young man. While onboard, I never had any thoughts of any kind of a future relationship, we were both there for the trip of a lifetime on a Cruise and there was this age difference.  And the girls and I thoroughly enjoyed every minute of the Cruise.  We were there for a week.  When it was over, it was hard to say good-bye to the beautiful Sun Princess.

After our Cruise, the girls and the rest of our family met in St. George, picked up our boat (now my dad's) and headed to Lake Powell for a week.  We love that lake and water skiing and camping are great family activities that have kept us going for years.

I don't really know when the "Correspondences" began, but Dean and started writing to each other, and through the mail, we fell in love.  Crazy, huh?  By April (25th...Easter) we were married.  And the rest is history. 

 Dean and I had one son, Billy, who is the light of my life!  He is a talented young man.  He tours with his one-man-band, playing his Cello...self-taught.  He writes music that is only his and has gathered quite a following all over the world.  He is happy with his music and his life and that makes me happy for him.  He tried marriage once, but found it just wasn't working and so now he connects with only girl-friends.  He has no desire to "try again!"  I love that boy.  Our spirits connect and he is a joy to have around.  We don't always agree on everything in this crazy world and that is OK.  Those things are not important to our relationship.

Eight Decades and Still Plugging Along...

I look back over those eight decades and I can hardly believe they are gone.  Where did they go?  In a couple of weeks I will be 83 and I don't feel that old.  I have lived a good life, corrected my course several times over those years and come to a place where I am content with "the whole of it!"

My progenitors include 6 children, 19 grandchildren and 24 great-grandchildren.  This is my heritage!  This is the heritage I present to my parents and grandparents, etc.  May God bless each and everyone of them.

The World Has Forgotten...But I Never Will !

 I can still get emotional on 9/11!  And now, l cry for a fractured Nation!  Fractured?  Yes!  The destruction of our icons on that day 21 years ago did more than scar New York City, Washington DC, and a field in Pennsylvania...it left scars on our Nation...and I don't think they are going to heal any time soon.  Over the past 14 years, I have watched so many changes in our Nation, in our Government, in the Politicians that run our Country, and in the population--the people--in general.

The kindness and love that filled our hearts on September 12, 2001, turned into callouses and the youth of today weren't even there to witness the awful events of that day and a good number of them haven't even been taught about the day our Country was attacked.  They cannot relate to the horror of the events that our eyes, ears and hearts witnessed.  Some of their hearts have been turned toward the new Socialistic type of government that has gripped our Nation slowly over those years.  We now have a President who is "Hell-Bent" on finishing the job that Obama started in 2008.

I cannot abide these changes.  I cannot go along with these plans.  And if it means my destruction, then so be it.   I am ready.  I wish I were younger, because I would be a fighter and stand tall for righteousness and saving our Country.  But, I am old and I am weak, and I am nearly blind.  I have loved my Country for nearly all of my 82 (nearly 83) years and my heart is as broken as those two buildings in NYC that broke up and fell to the earth.

My daughter, Heather and her family visited NYC a few Christmases ago, when it was still a magical place to visit.  They paused for many moments at the Ground Zero fountain which rests on the spot of one of  the Towers.  They have re-built the World Trade Center where the other tower stood and for all of the generations who follow us.  nNow, they have a wonderful memorial to visit, ponder, and perhaps feel a little bit of what we felt on that day 21 years ago.

Where do we go from here?  Where will our Country be next year at this time?  We are divided practically in half.  I like to think that most of the Country is good and strong and patriotic, but I fear our numbers are being encroached upon by the other half, which is growing daily (with the help of the millions of illegal immigrants who cross our open border every year.  This is still America in my heart, but many don't feel that way.  Why, Lord, is this happening to our chosen land?  Why have we turned a blind eye and an unfeeling heart away from Thee?

One day I will understand God's plan for us and there will be peace.  But I will not be here to see it.  One day, our Savior will return to the earth and usher in His Government.  One day there will be peace upon the earth again.  One day Satan will lose his battle to claim all of the hearts of man and he will be chained for a thousand years and the earth will be free of wickedness.  One day...

I just pray that we will never see another 9/11 in our history.