View The World Through Someone Else's Lense..A Short Story...

Several years ago, I received my first Cornea Transplant.  I never troubled myself with whether or not the surgery would be successful (although looking back, perhaps I should have!), but rather what would it be like to view my world through someone else's cornea?  I conjured up any number of imaginary scenarios such as being able to see my world exactly as the former owner of my cornea would have seen it.  Would I be color blind?  Unlikely, because the corneas don't control the ability to discern colors.  More likely, would be an enormous amount of astigmatism!  Yikes!  I already had enough of that.

But, that was another story for another day and I have already told it adnauseum!  No, my focus for this piece is finding the ability to see and understand another's world as they see, live and understand it.  A challenging task, at best, and daunting, at worst.

I have recently been sharing an experience with a long-time, very dear friend of mine who has fallen into a trap of being taken in by a much younger man.  I shall call her, Julie, to protect her and any and all friends involved.  Julie and I grew up together.  We attended the same Church.  We went to the same School.  We sometimes liked the same boys!  We hung out in each other's houses and got to know each other's families very well.

After High School, we just sort of drifted apart.  I went off to College and she went through a couple of marriages.  I reconnected with Julie when she moved to a nearby town and we ran into each other quite by accident.   Over the next several years we shared each other's stories and picked up our long-lost friendship again.

Once again, however, I moved away and we only occasionally kept in touch.  Until one day about 5 months ago when she called me and her voice had an almost giddy quality about it.  She said, "You will never guess where I am."  Of course, I couldn't.  The last I knew, she was still in that little Podunk town where I left her when I moved.

"I am in Texas!"  I said, "What on earth are you doing in Texas?"  "Oh," she said, "I have so much to tell you!  After Jack died, I was so lonely, and I met the most amazingly beautiful younger man!"  Well, that piqued my interest.  "And I thought because of all of your experience with your current husband, who is also younger than you, I thought you might be able to give me some advice."

It was true.  After my husband died, I had married a younger man and over the years we don't even notice the difference any more.  Julie certainly sounded happy, so what did it matter?  And so, we left that first conversation at that.  I told her, "Good luck with that!"  And we didn't speak for another week or so.

The next time Julie called, she didn't sound as happy as that last phone call.  In fact, she was crying.  This "gentleman" friend (and I use the term loosely) just dumped her in a run-down rental (after she paid the rent) and took off  in her car to find a job and the communication scanty  She was alone in a place where she knew no one, without a car, and very little food or furniture.  I tried to console her the best that I could, but just about every other word or sentence out of her mouth was to his defense.  In my mind and heart, my concern was for her safety...and a feeble attempt to bring her back to reality.

We talked for probably an hour, and then I told her she needed to rest and try to get some sleep.  Things might look better in the morning.  I said a prayer for her.  I guess I watch too much TV and have heard about all of these horror stories about younger men preying on older women, taking whatever money they had and then moving on to their next victim.  I prayed Julie wasn't another one of these statistics.

I didn't hear from Julie for months after that, although I did worry about her.  All attempts to call her had failed.  I learned later that she couldn't pay for her phone bills, so she tuned it off.  She had found some help from a local church which managed to get her a bus ticket home.  When she called me, she seemed more like her old self.  She had left the promise of a better future behind her and she had moved on.  It was a hard lesson, and she thanked me for helping her to see through my eyes what she had been unable to see with her own.  I love my friend dearly, and pray for her daily that she will one day find peace and tranquility in her life.

 GOOD-BYE 2020,

HELLO 2021!

I HONESTLY CANNOT SAY THAT I WILL MISS THE YEAR 2020!  IT HAS BEEN A YEAR OF UPS AND DOWNS, HILLS AND VALLEYS DARKNESS AND LIGHT! BUT, I CAN SAY THAT WE ALL WEATHERED THE STORMS AND CAME OUT ON THE OTHER SIDE STRONGER AND BRAVER AND BETTER FOR THE EXPERIENCES.

WE TRAMPLED THROUGH THE TROUBLED FIELDS OF A DEVASTATING VIRUS THAT TOOK HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF LIV4ES AND LEFT MILLIONS WITHOUT THEIR BUSINESSES OR JOBS.  ONE TRIP TO THE MARKET GIVES ONE THE VISION OF HUNDREDS OF MASKS THAT REALLY DON'T BELONG THERE AND FRIGHTENED FACES UNDERNEATH AMOST OF THEM.  FROM JANUARY THROUGH DECEMBER, WE HAVE LIVED IN FEAR OF AN UNSEEN ENEMY AND STILL HAVE NO REAL ANSWERS.  WILL IT EVER GO AWAY?  I CAN ONLY VENTURE A GUESS!  SOME OF US HAVE LOST LOVED ONES AND WILL FACE A NEW YEAR WITHOUT THEM.  BUT, THE LIFE CYCLE GOES ON AND NO ONE CAN EVER CHANGE THAT.

ON THE UP SIDE OF IT ALL, I HAVE WELCOMED INTO MY FAMILY THREE BRAND NEW GREAT-GRANDDAUGHTERS.  THEY ARE BEAUTIFUL AND A WELCOME SIGHT FOR THESE AGING EYES.  CONGRATULATIONS TO ELISSA, KELLIE AND MCKENZIE!  LIFE IS GOOD!

DEAN'S FATHER'S HEALTH IS DECLINING, BUT HE HAS LIVED A VERY LONG, GOOD 93 YEARS.  DEAN GOT TO FLY TO SEATTLE AND THEN TAKE A BUS TO TACOMA AND SPEND 3 WEEKS WITH HIS DAD DOING ALL OF THE HARD CHORES IN THE YARD.  IT WAS A WELCOME TRIP FOR BOTH OF THEM.  I GOT TO TRAVEL TO LAS VEGAS FOR A BABY SHOWER FOR ELISSA AND LATER TO ST. GEORGE FOR A FUNERAL OF A COUSIN AND A WELL-EARNED VISIT WITH MY SISTER, CHRISIE.  SHE RETURNED A TRIP TO PRESCOTT VALLEY FOR CHRISTMAS!  FAMILY IS THE BEST MEDICINE FOR AILING HEARTS!

THE POLITICAL SCENE IN OUR COUNTRY HAS TURNED A SOUR FACE TOWARD THE AMERICAN CITIZENS AND THERE IS UNREST BREWIING IN THE WINGS.  WE CAN ONLY GUESS WHAT THE NEW YEAR IS GOING TO BRING...AND PRAY FERVENTLY FOR HEALING FOR OUR COUNTRY.

I WISH I COULD REPORT MORE OF THE UPS, BUT RIGHT NOW, THE ONLY THREAD THAT IS HOLDING US TOGETHER IS FAMILY.  I HAVE BEGUN TO REALIZE JUST HOW IMPORTANT FAMILY IS AND I HOLD TIGHT TO EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THE MEMBERS OF MINE.

AS I WRITE THIS, MY SON-IN-LAW, KENNY'S DAD IS VERY CLOSE TO DEATH, ALONE IN A HOSPITAL IN CALIFORNIA.  TOMORROW THE FAMILY WILL MAKE THE HARD DECISION ABOUT WHAT TO DO NEXT AND HE MAY NOT BE WITH US THROUGH THE WEEKEND.  MAY GOD BLESS THE ENTIRE MESSICK FAMILY.  IT WILL BE A TIME TO GRIEVE.

AND A THOUSAND MILES TO THE NORTH, DEAN'S DAD HAS JUST BEEN SENT HOME FROM THE HOSPITAL ON PALLIATIVE CARE.  WE ARE HOPING FOR A FEW MORE MONTHS WITH HIM AS THE HEAD OF THE MICKELSON FAMILY.  

THESE ARE HARD TIMES...BUT WITH THE HARD, THERE IS ALSO THE GOOD AND MAY WE ALL BE CONSOLED BY THE GOODNESS IN THE WORLD.  MAY WE SEE THE RAINBOW AT THE END OF THE RAINY DAY; THE SILVER LINING IN EVERY RAIN CLOUD; THE BRIGHT SUNLIGHT IN THE EARLY MORNING SUNRISE; AND THE LIGHTHOUSE GUIDING THE WAY ON A STORMY, ROCKY SHORE.  IT IS MY PRAYER THAT WE WILL SEE MORE GOODNESS THAN DARKNESS ON THE HORIZON FOR THE NEW YEAR, WHICH IS 2021.  GOD BLESS EACH AND EVERYONE WHO VENTURES TO READ THIS BLOG.  I COUNT YOU AS MY FRIENDS, MY FAMILY AND GREAT CONTRIBUTORS TO THE RICH HAPPINESS THAT HAS FILLED MY LIFE.

HAPPY NEW YEAR ~ 2021

GIFTS...

 I have had such a full life abundantly overflowing with a plethora of amazing gifts.  My heart is filled with gratitude.

My father was the best gift-giver.  His first gift to me was my mother.  He was a young man of 19 when hemet my mother.  He swept her off her feet on a dance floor when she was barely 17.  They were married on her 18th birthday and 5 years later, together, they gave me the gift of life.

As I grew, he discovered one of my favorite gifts was anything sweet.  He gave me the gift of a piano, followed by 9 years of piano lessons.  He gave me the gift of dance lessons--also for 9 years.  He gave me the gift of his wisdom.  

    --Correcting me when I made mistakes.

--Praising me when I made good choices.

He gave me the gift of patience.  Waiting for me to fund the rught way, and nudging me along the path.

He gave me the gift of  unconditional love.  I never understood that, until I had children of my own!  I knew he loved me when, one day, I asked him, "Daddy, you have given me so much all my life==what can I give you in return?"  I can see him still, dressed in his white shirt, white pants, a white apron tied around his waist, stained with the juices of meat and food preparation, and a white envelope hat on his head decorated with the little "pickle" pin which was the symbol of his restaurant.  

He was sitting on one of the 4-legged stools at one of the long tables at the restaurant.  His simple, yet profound answer to my question was this, "The only thing I ask of you in return is that you will always remain as good as you are right now."

That simple response brought tears to my eyes.  I leaned down to give him a kiss on the cheek and one of my tears rolled out of my eye and down his cheek.

I loved my dad dearly.  I can't say that I was always good--or that I always made good choices--but my dad's gift of forgiveness was always a given.

Writing about my earthly father gets me thinking about my Heavenly Father--the Father of my Spirit.  He has been the best bestower of the greatest gifts--and the list is long!    The first gift He gave me, like my dad, was the gift of my life.  And with that gift  came the gift of my parents.  I shall forever be grateful for them both.

My Father in Heaven gave me one brother and two sisters.  They have blessed my life in countless ways.  He also sent Angels to me, called "friends"--each in their own season--some still grace my life.

He gave me many talents--some I have already discovered, some I am still discovering, and  some I am yet to discover.

He gave me the gift(s) of my own family(s).  First He sent me Gerry Henderson, a Graduate Student at BYU, who swept this little Freshman of barely 18 off of my feet, just as my dad had done with my mom all those years ago.  We were married the following June.  Then came five beautiful children, each one a treasured gift.  Growing old together was not in the cards for us.  Gerry went to live with Heavenly Father  much too soon!  

Six months after Gerry's death, I met Dean Mickelson.  He was charming, a great talker.  We met on "The Love Boat!"  It was crazy--and this young man truly was an answer to a lonely widow's prayers. He truly was a gift from God.

My next gift was our son, Billy.  He, too was an answer to many prayers.

Heavenly Father gave to me the gift of music. He gave me fingers to play the piano and ears to hear the music, and a heart to feel it in my soul.  He gave me feet to dance to the music.  I heard the rhythm to keep the beat and a body to move with it.  I feel the music throughout my whole being.  He gave me a voice to sing through both my heart and soul.

These gifts  were only for a season.  I can no longer play the piano because my eyes are growing dim;  I can no longer dance because my body no longer moves the way it used to; my voice is no longer sweet and pure.  But I am grateful for the years I could do all these things.  Now, I have ears  to hear the music and I can close my eyes and visualize the past.

So many gifts --too numerous to list----my Heavenly Father has bestowed upon me!  So much to be grateful for.  These are certainly note-worthy  gifts in my life--but the greatest gift of all is the gift of a tiny baby, born in a stable long, long ago in the town of Bethlehem.  The Father gave us the gift of His Son.  And His name was called, Jesus Christ.  "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son..." (John 3:16)

The Father gifted The Son--The Son gifted to us Eternal Life.

So many gifts!  So much LOVE!

                                                Keep on Giving!

                                                Merry Christmas!

Through The Eyes of a Dreamer...

 I have always been a dreamer.  Even when I was a very small girl.  I remember lying on my back on our front lawn and, looking up at the clouds, I would dream of being able to fly up there in that vast expanse and sit on the very top of one of them.  I imagined that I saw many different shapes in those clouds...shapes like animals or people or castles in the sky.  I don't know where I got my imaginative power; I only know that it has been with me for a very long time.

I believe that is where my writing skills were born.  Making up stories and/or poems has been something I have dabbled at for decades.  Mostly, I do it for my own pleasure, but I have occasionally done it for publication.  I have several books of poems that some of my works have been published in and a very real recognition (to me, at least) by a Poetry Society.

I wrote a short story about the life of my father's adventure in the restaurant business in Santa Monica, California.  His restaurant was called "Pickle Bill's Barbecue," and so I titled my book, "Memories of a Pickle Kid."  It sold over 100 copies!

My husband and I are both retired now--Dean after 41 years as a Pharmacist, and I after 35 years as an ICU/ER/Flight Nurse.  We both needed something to fill all those empty hours in the day, so we have launched a new project called Healthy Sense Living.

Now, here I am, with my husband, putting together a Website that deals with products which enhance our five senses.  Let me explain.  The Website is called HealthySenseLiving.Com.  We search for products that are for sale on our site that are pleasing to what we SEE (Visual), what we HEAR (hearing), what we SMELL (Aromatherapy), what we FEEL (touch), and what we TASTE (through healthy eating).

Here is an excerpt from our "About Us" page:  "As two healthcare professionals with combined medical experience spanning 76 years, we have become more keenly aware of the benefits of preventative medicine regarding stress reduction for better health.

"We all, in our busy lives, need some 'settling down' time.  Settling down to what?  To your body, mind and spirit on this user friendly website in order to fulfill your needs in your healthier living environment."

Now, you might be asking, "What has all of this got to do with my imagination and writing?  Well, let me explain.  I believe that it takes imagination to venture out into any new project in life.  I have filled my cup with my writing; I have filled my soul with writing my stories and poems; now my husband and I are imagining something new and different.  Will we succeed?  We hope so.  But that is not the important part of this new adventure.  We want you to succeed.  We want you to find fulfillment through your five senses, just as we have throughout our life.

I am inviting you to visit our website and browse through the offerings there.  It is only the beginning, so come back often to see what we might have added to or taken away from the site.  We are hoping that through this new adventure we can bring some insight into your lives about what it feels like, smells like, looks like, sounds like, or tastes like to slow down a little and find peace to your soul through Healthy Sense Living.

   

Visit us at HealthySenseLiving.com

Catching Up...and Moving On...

 Every day I sit for awhile and ponder my life.  I have experienced many ups and downs...some of my own creation...others leveled upon me without any help from me at all.  I wanted to record the progression of my aging process so that my children could get a glimpse at what they might face when they have lived as long as I have.

I have a talk with my body every once in a while, just to check in to see how it is doing.  For a woman my age, who has pushed my body through ma y rigorous activities, like ballet and toe dancing for most of my young years, hiking steep trails into mountains, swimming rivers and lakes, skiing and water skiing, a little golf (I never was very good at it!) and yes, even playing the piano.  Plus, I bore 6 children!  All of these should have left me with a ton of arthritis, but what little I have is endurable.  The only bone I ever broke was a toe when I was 13-\ years-old...and, oh yes, a chip fracture in my thumb after our automobile accident last September.  I have been pretty good to my body over the years and it, in turn, has been good to me.

I have had 3 abdominal surgeries, 5 eye surgeries, a bore-hole craniotomy for a head bleed, and most of my teeth pulled.  It could have been much worse.  My vision is crappy!  I inherited my dad's Glaucoma and my mom's Macular Degeneration.  Because of this, I don't drive anymore.  I have a difficult time reading anything unless the font is THIS BIG!  And I can't do any kind of close work,  My hearing us awful,  EH?  And my feet have lost their feeling...Neuropathy...also inherited from my mother.  But my body tells me that if I don't give up on it, it won't give up on me...just yet!

I have been so blessed to have my cognitive abilities still intact.  My memory is sharp, my ability to reason is intact, and I recognize everyone in my life still.  Sometimes, if I haven't seen them for a long time, I have a hard time realizing that that little girl I used to brush her hair as a child has grown into a mature, lovely woman!  Recognizing that they age too, throws me sometimes!  For these blessing, I am eternally thankful, because so much of my brain power could have been wiped out when I suffered my head bleed in 2012.

Why am I writing this?  I think it is because I wanted to keep a Diary or Journal, if you will, to help me track any signs of decline.  I am soon to be 81-years-old.  My mother lived to be 86 and in the last few years of her life I watched her body dwindle down to a frail 86 pounds and her cognitive abilities only slowly decline.  In the end, she didn't know my sister.  I tell myself it was because she couldn't take care of her and we ad to put her in a Nursing Facility.   She was nearly blind and needed a walker to take the few steps she was able to take.

So, over the next months and years, I shall check in here and leave a "progress (or regress) report" so those who come after me can read it.  This is my life!

Experience Leads to Compassion

I have been trying to come up with something to write about for the past several weeks, and every time I would sit down to write, I came up empty.  It's not that there hasn't been a multitude of subjects to talk about, it's just that I couldn't wrap my heart around any of them.

Today, however, I was blind-sided by the experiences of a dear friend that turned my thoughts away from the news of the day and toward something altogether different and perhaps a lot more important.  It is the subject of Compassion!  What is compassion?

Modern definitions would include "Sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortunes (of others)."  Webster describes it this way.  I would go a step or two further and say that it is more like after walking the same type of path another is walking, we are able to feel what they are feeling.  In other words, what they are experiencing, we once experienced.  Therefore, we can empathize and feel compassion for their experience.

My friend is going through horrendous experiences right not and she has confided in me about them.  Why me?  Because I have experienced these things before in my past.  I can relate to her experiences and perhaps offer some degree of help by sharing with her what I have learned.  We have a compatible relationship and a common bond because of this.  I can offer her my compassion.

While helping another, I turned to my own life and found that I am trying to show compassion to myself. That sounds a bit strange, but we all can use a little compassion in our lives..  I am going through some really hard physical and emotional trials right not.  I am suffering from AMD (Adult onset Macular  Degeneration.). I am slowly going blind.  I say slowly, because I have had significant vision loss in my right eye for  17 years.  That loss of vision was caused by a stroke within my right eye which destroyed the Optic Nerve...or most of it.  What vision I have left in that eye is useless.

Four years ago, the AMD in my left eye went suddenly from the dry stage to the wet stage and has ultimately left me with a blindspot in the center of that eye.  I received treatment immediately with intravitreal injections with the drug, Ranibizumab or Lucentis.    This inhibits the growth of tiny vessels, which occlude the vision.  Though this is not a cure, it can slow the progression of the AMD.    I hav e had a total of 9 injections plus one Laser treatment.  My AMD was slowed down and for 3 1/2 years, did not progress.

In the last 6 months, I have noticed a worsening of the vision or the blindspot in my left eye.  At this time, I do not have a Retinal Specialist that I can depend on to see me.  The one I had is in Phoenix and comes to Prescott at least once a month.  My problem with him is that I cannot seem to connect with anyone who can make me an appointment with him.  So, I am searching for another one.  I am in a dilemma.  And I am very hard on myself.  I am in a hard place.

All of this has turned my heart to my own mother.  She also had this degenerating disease.  I remember how sad she was when she could no longer read books or her scriptures.  I tried to get her to listen to books on tape or her scriptures on tape, but she was not interested.  She got very despondent.  The next thing she had to give up was her ability to drive a car.  Slowly, her independence was being taken away from her and her depression worsened.

I was not kind to my mother back then.  I grew impatient with her and had a hard time being around her.    I was looking at her glass half empty and could not feel what she was feeling.  I now can feel every bit of her pain, because I am going through the same process.  I cannot drive any more; I cannot read a book or my scriptures; I need a very large and stron magnifying glass to read the screen of mat computer; and I need the aid of head-gear magnifiers to crochet the little baby blankets I am making for my new G-Granddaughters.  Because of my experiences, I can appreciate my mother's even more.  It is too bad that she is in Heaven, because I want to hug her tight and tell her how very sorry I am.

Through all of this, I am reminded that I have a Savior who loves name and I know He will carry me through my own experiences; and I know He will carry my friend through hers as well.  I love my Savior and I love that He is always there for us.  He has walked where we walk; He has experienced our pains and frustrations; He has sunk to the depths of the Hell that we are going through; and He has great compassion for each and every one of us.

Now, let us take those experiences and this knowledge and be more compassionate toward others...whether or not we have experienced their pains.  We can show an increase of love for them and offer our help to them to get them through their life's experiences.

Fear, Panic, Chaos...The New Pandemic...

For my readers who know me and know that I am a rational person, I have the following to offer as a solution, or at best a suggestion for the current insanity that has taken over the world.

There is a new strain of a Virus circling the globe, called  The Coronavirus.  Technically, it is called Cobi-d19.  The Media has hyped it up to be "the worst virus ever!"  And it has folks scared out of their wits.  Schools have closed, churches have ceased services, businesses have closed their doors and people have put themselves in voluntary quarantine all across the country.  Some places in Europe have made the quarantines mandatory for a period of 2-4 weeks.

Fear has caused people to start hoarding items such as toilet paper, water, hand sanitizer, masks and gloves.  Soup cans are flying off the shelves, and the low supply has caused people to panic.  And with that panic, has come a chaos seen only when there is a national disaster.

Rational people have become irrational, believing the worst.  Some are predicting a Dooms Day of sorts.  I can only shake my head and look at what is going on around me as insane.  Calm down, people!  Get a grip on reality.  I have lived through probably 8 or 9 so called "Pandemics" in my lifetime...LIVED THROUGH THEM, FOLKS!  And I have never seen anything like this.

Common sense tells me that if you take care of yourselves and avoid large crowds, wash your hands after using the bathroom or working in the yard  (something my mother taught me to do as a little child) or even cleaning house, you are protecting yourself.  We don't need to walk around wearing masks, unless you have a fever or cough and your loved ones don't want to catch your germs.  Cough or sneeze into a tissue and throw it in the garbage immediately, or cough in the crook of your arm.  COMMON SENSE, PEOPLE!

Eat a healthy diet and hydrate yourself.  Good nutrition and water are essential to staying well.  Take your medications and vitamins and even add a little extra Vitamin C.

If you feel you have symptoms, consult your Doctor.  He/She will advise you what to do.  Our Emergency Rooms and Hospitals are overrun by people who think they might have the virus and are demanding the testing  and they are panicking.  And for goodness sake, DO NOT CALL 911!  It is not an emergency...unless, of course, you have severe respiratory (breathing) problems.

All of the articles that I have read, written by Doctors, give this advice and they have done studies that show, for the most part, the majority of people will survive many and all viruses that come along...using common sense.  Don't listen to the media who want you to believe that this epidemic is the equivalent to the Black Death or the Plague that killed thousands in England and Europe a couple of centuries ago.  It was a horrible plague, but keep in mind that they didn't;t have the technological advances that we have today, nor did they have the proper medicines to fight it.

These things come in cycles and we have survived them before without all the hype we hear today.  Fear, panic, and chaos are the only Pandemic that we should eradicate.  So, don't let fear of the unknown blind you to the realities and don't let your fears lead to panic,  because panic eventually leads to chaos...and we certainly don't need anymore chaos in this country.  Replace your fear with faith in God and prayer and you will come to a calm place, just as I have.  God's not done with this country yet.  He has much work yet to be done and he needs good, calm, rational people to carry it out.

Just saying!

Fractured...

I have come to a time in my life when I realize that none of us get through our journey without some affliction or another causing stress points in our spirits.  Some of those stress points are in the form of some form of mental distress or another result in fractures.  Fractures in our hearts and in our spirits.  Think for a moment about the different stresses put on our bodies, either from physical trauma or just hard use, as in a "stress fracture" to a bone.

Some of our afflictions are brought on by others...some, we put upon ourselves.  God never intended for us to go through this journey without experiencing some sort of affliction or trial.  In His wisdom, those trials serve to make us stronger.   And He has not left us alone to carry our burdens without help.

I am reminded of  the talk, "Like A Broken Vessel," given as a Conference address in 2013 by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, of The Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints:

"When we struggle, brothers and sisters--mental or emotional or physical or otherwise--do not vote against the preciousness of life by ending it!  Trust in God.  Hold on in His love.  Know that one day the day will break bright and all shadows of mortality will flee.  Though we feel we are "like a broken vessel," as the Psalmist says, we must remember, that vessel is in the hands of the divine potter.  Broken minds are healed just the way broken bones and broken hearts are healed.  While God is at work making those repairs, the rest of us can be merciful, nonjudgemental and kind."

I have felt this healing in my own life.  I have witnessed it in the lives of others.  When we turn our full attention on the healing power of the Savior, let Him into our lives, and Trust in Him, then I promise that there is Hope.  If you think your life is permanently fractured and there is nothing left for you, think again!  Step back from the ledge and ponder the miracles in your life.  If He can provide miracles, then He can provide healing.

Words...

The sharpest weapon in the world is the tongue.  And related to it is the pen.  Think of those two weapons and what flows off of them both?  Words!

I remember as a child being the recipient of words that hurt!  Teasing words, unkind words, sharp words, degrading words...all meant to torment a child who did not understand.  My mother taught me a little saying, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me!"  I tried to use that phrase over and over again, but in the end, it just wasn't true.  Words did hurt me!  And I cried a lot because I didn't think anybody liked me.

I grew up with a soft heart, easily crushed, but eventually I learned to toughen my skin so the barbs couldn't get through.  My first husband taught me that.  And I ask myself a lot, "What would Jesus do?"

How many of us have heard "a discouraging word" at any time in our lives?  I know I have ~ and some of my family members have.  How many of us have used these same words, or others to discourage others?

Words can be either uplifting or they can tear down.  They are the building blocks of our language.  Since our language was a God-given gift to mankind it behooves us to use it carefully.

God's words are not discouraging words.  His words are a guide for us, from a foundation of love, and are found in His Holy Scriptures.   It is there that I turn to read His words when I need answers to daily struggles.  And it is there that I turn to read the words that tell of the holiest of events ever to transpire upon the face of the earth ~ the Birth of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

What were the words used there to tell mankind about the coming of His Son to the earth?  They were kind words.  Words of promise that invited the spirit to feel peace.  The Lord proclaimed these words through many Prophets many hundreds of years before the Holy Babe was born.

Isaiah was one of those Prophets.  "...Behold a Virgin shal conceive, and bare a Son, and shall call His name Emmanuel (Hebrew for 'with us is God')."  (Isaiah 7:14.). The most beautiful, peaceful words I have ever read!  He was the promised Messiah...born a babe, but he would grow up to be a man.  And it was this man, our Savior, Jesus Christ, who spoke some other beautiful words.  He gave us a new commandment: to "Love the Lord our God with all our hearts, mind and strength."  And a second commandment, like the first, to "love our neighbors as ourselves."

Our words should always be spoken with that love.  Our words should also be written with that love.  I am a clumsy speaker because sometimes I feel things that are not in tune with the spirit and I want to say the right things, but quite often they come out wrong and I am misunderstood.  In most of those cases, I choose to remain silent and wait for those feelings to pass.  But, in other times, I do speak out with heightened emotions, and I am immediately sorry for opening my mouth to speak.  I am deeply sorry if anyone has been the recipient of my clumsy speech.

Let us all remember that there is a time to speak and there is a time to be silent.  And more importantly, let your speech be filled with love for one another.  This should be our challenge for this New Year of 2020.  Love one another and treat one another with kindness...even if it means to bite your tongue!

Looking Back on a Marvelous Year...

My Journey through 2019

This year was so full of experiences, that I had to pull up many pictures to remember them all.  So, come with me, as I travel down Memory Lane to preserve some of these memories.

JANUARY:     January is always both joyous and hard for me, because it is the month of my sweet Mother's Birthday.  Memories of her flood my mind and heart frequently, but not like the month of January.  January is also the birth month of my third child, Debra Dawn Henderson Nish and my first granddaughter born to Heather, Elissa Nicole Newby DelToro.  

         

FEBRUARY:  One of the activities we went to at the Cultural Center on campus of the college in Prescott was to see a group called "Pink Martini!"  They were very good and quite entertaining.

February brought a record snow storm to Prescott Valley.  Literally "up to our knees!"

Dean and I were really surprised by the amount of snow that we had.  Just right for playing in!

  Here are beautiful bicycles hanging off of my Church!

 And in this picture that a friend of mine in Lincoln City sent me...shows that they even had snow there on the beach.  Crazy winter!

  MARCH:  In March, President Nelson visited Rome to dedicate the Rome Temple and he had a personal visit with the Pope of the Catholic Church.  An amazing, historic event.

  Sophia Messex has her adorable 1st Birthday!  She is my Great-Granddaughter!   Brendan (Heather's son) is her daddy!       

 Because of all the snow that we had in February, the desert showed off her absolute true beauty with the blooming of millions of poppies!  It was so beautiful!

March is the birthday of my firstborn daughter, Kim, and also her firstborn daughter, Aubrey!  It is also the birth month of my firstborn son, Mark.  He builds these amazing stairs!  Both of these children light up my life and fill my heart with an abundance of love.

  

 APR. :  My sister, Chrisie, sent me these beautiful boots!  It was a surprise gift and I absolutely love them.  They are a little tight, but with wearing them, they will loosen up!

April is also the month of Easter.  It is the time for remembering the Sacrifice of our Lord, Jesus Christ, who gave His all so that we can have Eternal Life.

We also had April Conference, when we heard from our General Authorities and our Prophet.  It was an amazing Conference.  So many messages aimed directly at me.








Beautiful Aubrey with her husband Matt and children, Blair, Van and Beck on a beautiful Easter Day.

 Grandson Scott and wife, McKenzie with daughters, Emerson and Elia.

 Dean resting on a rock at Granite Dells, while I zoom in for a photo.  We had our Easter picnic here.  Such a beautiful, serene place in the middle of a hustle-bustle city and away from all of the traffic.

This place is situated next to another beautiful site...Watson Lake.  We should rent a Kayak some day and paddle out onto the lake.

 MAY:  May is the month of flowers...and here are some of the beauties that IO received for Mother's Day from two of my daughters, JerriAnne and Heather!  I can always count on them to brighten my day with blooms that fill my soul with sweetness and love.

My Granddaughter, Jacki Lynn Messick Bracken with her children, Dallen, Sydney, and Jane on Mother's Day.  They are the sweetest little family that I know!

My Mother passed away on Mother's Day, 2002, so this day is hard for me! Dean's mother, Betty, is gone now, too, and we remember her with flowers on her grave.

We paid a visit to Dean's Dad and drove him to the Cemetery.

May is also the birth month of my 4th child, JerriAnne.  She is and has always been  one of the joys of my life.  I wish I could have her close to us forever.

 While in Tacoma, Dean went on a good hike with his brother, Dave and Dave's son, Zachary.  Those men love the heights and the joy of the outdoors.

May also found  Elissa's husband, Travis,  Graduating from Dental School in Phoenix.  He is officially a Dentist now.  It was so great to watch the ceremony and see the whole family gathered together for this auspicious occasion.  It was a grand day!

 JUNE:  How beautiful, this little "June" is!  And how appropriate that Jacki sent me these pictures in the month of June!

Both girls have been taking Dance lessons for a while and I love their little "professional"poses!  Takes me back many, many years to my own days of dance.

 Here we have Sydney.  She is the oldest and has been dancing the longest.  Gotta love these girls.

 My son, Billy was born in the month of June.  He is now 35 and enjoys his life as a Traveling Cellist.  Everything he does is to perfection.  Sometimes I wonder how I was so blessed to have such a son!

Here is a photo of a rose bush that we planted in our front yard.  Eventually, there will be two.  I love roses and watching them grow and fill up the branches with their beauty.  I pray they will do well.

JULY:  Dean and I donned our cowboy hats and boots and attended our very first Rodeo together in Prescott.  It was an extremely fun day and took me back to when I used to attend Rodeo's with my sister, Chrisie and her daughter (Granddaughter),Chloe!  The air is filled with excitement.

Happy 4th of July to our Country and all of its Citizens!  We attended the celebration at Watson Lake...had a great  show and watched the fireworks over the lake afterward.

 Look at how my roses are blooming!  I am so thrilled!

We attended more celebrations downtown Prescott and Dean and I found a horse to have our picture taken with!  Gotta love this "old west" town!

 AUGUST:  I love this month.  Everything is blooming, and especially my favorite...Sunflowers!  Next year, I plan on planting some along our back fence!  Won't that be grand?

August is Anniversary month!  My daughter Debi and her husband Brian celebrate on the 9th.  Dean and I celebrate on the 8th.  And Travis and
Elissa celebrate on the 19th.  A beautiful month to celebrate perfect unions.

Dean and I celebrated by a walk around Goldwater Lake, named after former Senator  Barry Goldwater from Arizona.

I don't know the name of those yellow flowers, but they were blooming everywhere around the lake.

Heather's birthday is August 2nd, and they celebrated by going back to an old Henderson family tradition of going to Lake Powell every August.  From the looks of it, they had a wonderful time with water, boating and each other.

 Dean and I attended our first horse race at Arizona Downs.  It was exciting.  We are not betters, but we did choose some horses just for fun that came in 1st, 2nd, or third.  Haha!  A good time.  And it reminded me of my dad when he used to go to the races in California.  I learned only a few months ago, that he was a jockey in his youth in Cedar City, Utah.  Maybe my love for horses is in my blood!

 A far cry and a trip down the hill took me to the Phoenix Temple with 3 of my friends from Church.  Oh, my, that was a really special day.  Not only did I get better acquainted with these three ladies (Bobbie, Billie, and Winnie), but I met my old friends from Santa Monica 2nd Ward, Kate Sheiss and Fred Cuthbertson!). They were both workers in met session!  Small world!  I loved it.

 Son-in-Law, Rich, with brand new Granddaughter.  Does he look proud, or what?  Nothing like it, son!

SEPTEMBER:  Hey, look...another Rosebush!

 ON SEPTEMBER 5TH, DEAN AND I WERE INVOLVED IN A REALLY SERIOUS CAR CRASH.  I TOOK THE BRUNT OF THE IMPACT, BUT THANK MY Heavenly Father EVERY DAY FOR THE SAFETY DEVICES ON OUR CAR...AIR BAHGS, SEAT BELTS, AND THE IMPACT PROTECTION THAT THE WHOLE FRAME HAS.

MY FIRST THOUGHTS WERE OF MY DAD AND THE CAR CRASH HE WAS IN J7ST 30 YEARS AGO THAT TOOK HIS LIFE BECAUSE NONE OF THOSE THINGS WERE PROTECTING HIM.

 Here's another plant we bought and planted in our backyard.  I can't wait till next year to see how it grows and flourishes.

We also bought a bird bath and Dean is painting it...very clever.  It will go in the middle of our outer flagstone patio.  That will take a lot of work!

 Not sure why I included this picture of Brendan and Railynn.  My sweet, sweet grandson.  They are so happy and have only been married a year and a half.  Love you, Brennie Boy

Here's mey happy Debi in Scotland about to take on a real Scottish Golf Course!  I know that she is in the top of her very best place right now!  She loves Golf...and to play it in the land where it was invented...WOW!

My sister, Chrisie sent me these pictures of her Horse Ranch in Erda, Utah.  She is saying goodbye to it because she can no longer maintain it.  I know how this breaks her heart, because this ranch was her late husband, Bob Kump's Horse Race.  He developed it and loved every minute of it.  He has been gone for about 5 years and Chrisie is just having a hard time keeping it up.

***A side note...the sale of this property has fallen through 3 times and now Chrissie is renting it to her Daughter (Granddaughter), Chloe.  Chloe grew up here!  And she is expecting her first child, a boy, in January, 2020!

 Oh me, Oh my!  Here I am walking into my neighbor's back yard being greeted by a boatload of old friends, new friends, and a luscious meal...all for my Surprise 80th Birthday Party.

I can't believe this husband of mind.  He put the whole thing together!  This was really a wonderful event.

My old friends Barbara Atwood, Ginger O'Bannion, and Suzi Klein were there from Santa Monica High School!  Plus my Bishop and Elder's Quorum President from my Church.  And the neighbors on my street whom I am just getting acquainted with.  What a joy and a wonderful reunion.

My children, Kim, Mark, Debi, JerriAnne, and Heather, plus my sister, Chrisie and Mark's daughter, Abbie all treated me to 3 days in Sedona, Arizona.  A beautiful spot for a family to gather and celebrate.  I loved every moment of each and every day...even the nights when I was alone to revel in the memories.

 We hiked, we ate meals together, we smiled and laughed at "Mother's crazy antics...as well as Aunt Chrisie's!"

We got in the pool and just didn't do much...just sat there and smiled at the camera!

 OCTOBER:  Together, Dean and I prepped the area in the backyard for the new Flagstone Patio.  It was a lot of hard work, but the hardest is yet to come.

We purchased more plants, pots and flowers and the whole area is coming together.  I love it and I love the work that goes into it.  (Well, Dean is doing most of the hard work!)

The yellow plant is a collection of tiny Mums.  They won't last, but while they are there, I am going to love them.

 Finally, the Flagstone is purchased and delivered.  Now, Dean has to get to work.  Those pictures will come later...probably into 2020.

 At the end of October, Dean and I took a car trip to Taos, Santa Fe, and Albuquerque.

Driving through this part of Arizona is filled with beautiful vistas...like Window Rock...the Navajo Nations headquarters.

We stayed with Dean's long time friend, Kathy Cordova, in Taos.  She drove us all around Taos, El Prado and Ranchos de Taos and helped us find some of my friends.  She also took us to the Cemetery so Dean could pay his respects to Arsenio, her husband who passed away recently.

Pictured below, is Billy's Baby Sitter, Bonnie Chacon, with Dean and I.  She is such a wonderful lade.  I loved taking Billy there...and at Christmas she would give me her homemade  Tamales to take home.  Yum.

 Another good friend we got to visit was Carmen Lieurance.  She was always welcoming and such a joy to be around.

We had to meet her at the Church, because she had to be at a meeting.

 Dean's main reason for coming to New Mexico was to attend his Scottish Rite Reunion at the Scottish Rite Temple in Santa Fe.  This is a wonderful experience for him and he hasn't been able to do it for many years...since leaving New Mexico in 1998.

 Here, Dean is pictured playing the Long Trumpet in the courtyard.  It is part of the services that they put on inside of the Temple.

After we left ew Mexico, we drove to the Petriffied Forrest National Park.  It covers many miles and has many, many pullouts to look at the ancient and petrified wood.

They look like just old trees fallen down, but they are hard as stone!  That's because they have turned to stone.

 Here is an old, old car that broke down on old Route 66 in the middle of the desert and was just abandoned.

My favorite photo of the Painted Desert. not far from the end of the Park.  This old world has so much beauty and we are beholding only a few vistas and panoramas that it has to offer.  Mind boggling!

 NOVEMBER:    Another trip for us...this time to Flagstaff, to see the President's Own Marine Band in concert at the University!

We stayed at a beautiful Air B&B and met some amazing people.

 The Band was phenomenal and so "tight" with all of their music.  Dean was in seventh heaven, for sure!

When we left Flagstaff, we drove up to the ski area to check it out.  There is no snow yet, so everything is pretty bare, but I  loved the Aspen trees.

After Flagstaff, we drove to Lake Havasu to spend a week in a Time Share.

It was a wonderful.  We took the ferry across the lake to the Casino and had a light lunch.  We then walked around outside and found this interesting SUV...Dean had to get a photo.  The Casino was closing its doors the very next day, because they have built a new one up the lakeshore from where this old one sits.

I loved the memorabilia all around and near the bridge.  This is the London Bridge, which was taken apart brick by brick and shipped to the U.S. where it was then brought to this part of the Colorado River.  There is a dam south of here which created the lake.  The rebuilding process was quite phenomenal!

 Dean and I wearing "funny" hats in front of the shop that sells them.  The owner was a real jokester who loved playing with people's heads.  We got a good laugh that day!

 Billy came to be with us for a few days and we loved his visit.  While he was here, they put Christmas wreathes on the bridge and I just had to get a picture!

I also love the picture below of Billy standing in the old English phone booth!  (Talking on his Cell Phone!)

 Dean, Billy and I went for a boat ride on the lake and had such a wonderful time playing together.

After Billy left, Dean and I explored some more and found this beautiful fountain.

I loved Lake Havasu and will definitely say yes, if asked to return.

 After leaving Lake Havasu, we drove to California to visit with Kim and Kenny.  Here is their new house that they will be moving into after we leave.  It is a wonderful floor plan...simple and sweet and just right for the "55 and older" population.

The photo below is a sunset picture taken of San Clemente.  Kim and Kenny will be moving from there and I am sure they will miss it.

The photo above is out of order, but it is of us driving home and watching the moon come up over the Mingus Mountains on the horizon.  It was a beautiful sight! and we were glad to be home.

 For Thanksgiving, we drove to Phoenix to spend the Holiday with my friends, Suzanne (no picture), her husband, Lew and Ginger and Sam.  We had a glorious celebration.  Suzanne is a perfect hostess.  We laughed until we cried and sometimes lost our breath!

Dean had a full-blown Asthma attack and we had to take him to the hospital for treatment.  That was the only downside for the whole event.

We spent the night and really had a delightful time!

The photo below is of Sam and Lew fixing the dishwasher, because there were a lot of dishes accumulated with so man y people and so much food!

DECEMBER:  We all prepare for a beautiful and wonderful celebration of the Birth of our Lord, Jesus Christ.  I love the beautiful reminders that He is the light of the world, as we look at the lights of the Temple on Temple Square.  I love the music that radiates from Choirs everywhere...from Churches, from home recorded music music and from our own hearts.  Christmas is the culmination of a pretty amazing year and we can pause to say, "Thank you, Lord for blessing us with so much beauty, family, friends, memories and our Lord and Savior."

And I have to add...Thank You for preserving our lives so that we. can feel in our hearts the love that radiates out of the Universe to all of us.

We are now on the threshold of a new year...it is the year of Our Lord, 2020...and we open the book, turn to the first blank page and begin to write the first chapter of this new year.

May God continue to bless each and everyone with "enough!"  I look forward to what will be written on the coming pages in the journey of my life.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!