But, that was another story for another day and I have already told it adnauseum! No, my focus for this piece is finding the ability to see and understand another's world as they see, live and understand it. A challenging task, at best, and daunting, at worst.
I have recently been sharing an experience with a long-time, very dear friend of mine who has fallen into a trap of being taken in by a much younger man. I shall call her, Julie, to protect her and any and all friends involved. Julie and I grew up together. We attended the same Church. We went to the same School. We sometimes liked the same boys! We hung out in each other's houses and got to know each other's families very well.
After High School, we just sort of drifted apart. I went off to College and she went through a couple of marriages. I reconnected with Julie when she moved to a nearby town and we ran into each other quite by accident. Over the next several years we shared each other's stories and picked up our long-lost friendship again.
Once again, however, I moved away and we only occasionally kept in touch. Until one day about 5 months ago when she called me and her voice had an almost giddy quality about it. She said, "You will never guess where I am." Of course, I couldn't. The last I knew, she was still in that little Podunk town where I left her when I moved.
"I am in Texas!" I said, "What on earth are you doing in Texas?" "Oh," she said, "I have so much to tell you! After Jack died, I was so lonely, and I met the most amazingly beautiful younger man!" Well, that piqued my interest. "And I thought because of all of your experience with your current husband, who is also younger than you, I thought you might be able to give me some advice."
It was true. After my husband died, I had married a younger man and over the years we don't even notice the difference any more. Julie certainly sounded happy, so what did it matter? And so, we left that first conversation at that. I told her, "Good luck with that!" And we didn't speak for another week or so.
The next time Julie called, she didn't sound as happy as that last phone call. In fact, she was crying. This "gentleman" friend (and I use the term loosely) just dumped her in a run-down rental (after she paid the rent) and took off in her car to find a job and the communication scanty She was alone in a place where she knew no one, without a car, and very little food or furniture. I tried to console her the best that I could, but just about every other word or sentence out of her mouth was to his defense. In my mind and heart, my concern was for her safety...and a feeble attempt to bring her back to reality.
We talked for probably an hour, and then I told her she needed to rest and try to get some sleep. Things might look better in the morning. I said a prayer for her. I guess I watch too much TV and have heard about all of these horror stories about younger men preying on older women, taking whatever money they had and then moving on to their next victim. I prayed Julie wasn't another one of these statistics.
I didn't hear from Julie for months after that, although I did worry about her. All attempts to call her had failed. I learned later that she couldn't pay for her phone bills, so she tuned it off. She had found some help from a local church which managed to get her a bus ticket home. When she called me, she seemed more like her old self. She had left the promise of a better future behind her and she had moved on. It was a hard lesson, and she thanked me for helping her to see through my eyes what she had been unable to see with her own. I love my friend dearly, and pray for her daily that she will one day find peace and tranquility in her life.
