Families Are Forever...

Mama, Darell, Chrisie & Patti

c. 1989

 From my earliest recollections, Families have been the most important circle of my existence!  Though I don't remember the event, I am sure the first person's face in my family that I saw was my Mother!  Ah!  My Mother!  She was my constant companion and the cutting of the umbilical cord could not separate us!

But life moves forward and slowly, ever so slowly, others entered between my Mother and I.  First came me Dad, then my Brother, then my friends, and then came Gerry!  Though he was the love of my life, leaving my Mother was difficult, somehow.  I remember every vacation we ever had in our married life together had to be to my Mother's home!  Pretty selfish, huh?  But Gerry went along with my wishes and home it was for vacation.

My Daddy was the second most important family member in my life.  He was my protector, my teacher, my guide, my disciplinarian and my friend.  He scolded me when I did wrong, he praised me when I did right and his love for me was never changing, unconditional.  Both of my parents have gone to Heaven now, but I know that I will see and be with them again for eternity.  The same is true of my husband, Gerry.  He is gone now, too but we will be together for eternity also.

My brother, Darell, though my greatest tease when we were kids, became my best friend after our parents were gone.  He was my rock.  We loved reminiscing about "the good old days when we were kids" and even about some more recent experience together that we cherished.  And, guess what...he is gone now, too and I miss him.

There is a gap of 9 years between my sister, Chrisie and I, but in the past few years, that gap doesn't seem so wide anymore and we ave become great friends.  She always has and still does make me laugh!  She knows the deep sorrow of widowhood and we relate to that a lot.  Thank goodness she is still living so we can still share experiences together.

My "baby sister," Patti was 18 years younger that me.  We were never really close, more like a mother-daughter relationship.  She went through a rough period of depression several years ago, after Mom passed.  That episode led to dementia and then to Alzheimers, which eventually claimed her life.  She passed nearly 6 years ago.  I miss the little stink!  But thanks to our beliefs and the miracle of Temple work, she, too will be with us in the eternities as a family again.

That is the family I grew up with.  The family I love!  The family that shaped me and made me into the woman I am.  The family I will spend eternity with.

The family that I was blessed with...

All of my growing up years were spent dreaming about marriage and then a family.  I always wanted to be a "Mom!"  I married Gerry (Gerald Vernon Henderson) on June 7, 1958 in the Los Angeles Temple of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  It was a beautiful summer day and carried with it the hope of a bright future. Gerry was a Geologist and with that job came a lot of travel and moving.  I think we moved 10 times before settling down in Southern California in 1970.  What a wonderful adventure.  And we filled our home with nearly perfect, beautiful children.

(The above picture has 5 of my children in it, plus my sister, Chrisie and Granddaughter, Abbie.  (And me!)

Our firstborn, Kimberlee Laurie was born on March 26, 1959 in Santa Monica, California.  She was the most perfect little baby girl I had ever seen and I fell in love with her immediately.  I loved just holding her and cuddling her and nurturing her.  As she grew, that love never faded.  She was never a problem child and I was grateful for that.  She fulfilled her destiny to become  a wife and mother and has given me 4 grandchildren and 10 great-grandchildren (at the time of this writing).  What a wonderful legacy from my firstborn.

One year after Kim's birth came Mark (Mark Randall).  He was born on March 21, 1960.  Gerry was so delighted with his little boy and his little girl.  He wanted to stop right there because we had the perfect family.  For a while, Kim and Mark grew into great buddies, but over the years, they became the individual little people they were meant to be.  Kim, the perfect little lady, and Mark, the rough and tumble "normal" little boy.  I loved watching them grow.

Mark had a rough life, and when his Dad died, he withdrew more and more into himself.  He was married twice and had 4 children (2 from each marriage).  Life has not been kind to my son.  He is a Cancer surviver, but it left him toothless and has only part of his tongue.  He is very self-conscious of his speech impediment.  Over the years, he has become a great friend to me.  I love my son so much.  He has added those 4 grandchildren (as mentioned above) and 2 great-grandchildren to my family tree.

Two years after Mark was born, along came Debi (Debra Dawn).  She was totally unexpected and not planned...and Gerry was nervous about a growing family.  He had come from a family of 9 children and grew up on Welfare.  He wanted better than that for his family thus became a work-a-holic!  He would have been content to stop at 2.  What can I say?  It takes two to make this happen and I tried my best to be the obedient wife.  At any rate, Debi was the product of our love and now there were three.  She was born on January 14, 1962 in the middle of a snow storm!

Debi was a delightful little girl...quite the opposite personality of Kim.  She was actually a little girl copy of Mark!  She was a joy to have in our family and I really was glad she was here.  Gerry took to her, too and loved his little girls.  Debi grew up to be quite a sweet young woman.  She was much like my sister, Chrisie..athletic and loves the outdoors.  She didn't choose well in the marriage department.  Like her love for baseball, it was "two down and one to go"...the third one truly was her "home run."  She was blessed with two children from y her first marriage.  And those two brought forth 2 great-grandchildren for me.  "I love you, Debi.  You bring joy into my life!

Another two years passed, and I was getting "baby hungry!"  Gerry was gone a lot and I was home alone a lot of the time.  I needed another baby to love.  So, I prayed for another one.  And the Lord heard my prayers and sent another sweet little girl to our family.  All Gerry could say was, "Oh, No!"  But I knew that deep in his heart, he loved his children...each and every one of them.  And the Lord had provided all the work he would ever need to support them.  

We had a hard time coming up with a name for her, but settled on JerriAnne.  It fit her perfectly.  She was born on May 28, 1964, Memorial Day Weekend!  She had some difficulties as an infant.  She was allergic to many things and developed a raging UTI, which the Dr. diagnosed as the result of an anomaly in her urinary tract.  She had  two Ureters coming down from her right kidney.  That is what caused the urine to back up and resulted in infections.  She eventually out grew it, as the Dr. said she would.

JerriAnne adored her big sister, Debi and tried to be like her in every way.  Debi did not like that and pushed JerriAnne away constantly.  As a result, they are not the best of friends...even to this day.  I wish I could have made it different for them, but I couldn't when they were little and I certainly cannot today.  I do love both of my girls, however.  JerriAnne was not lucky in the love department.  She had a few boyfriends, but never could find the "right one."  So, she remains single.  She loves children, and because she never had any of her own, she became a teacher and her love of children led her to teaching little blind ones.  They are her children!

After JerriAnne was born, Gerry decided he wanted to go back to school to get his Doctorate and eventually teach at the University level.  So, with 4 children and a little trailer with our family belongings, the Henderson family headed to Champaign, Illinois and the University of Illinois Geology/Clay Mineralogy Department for 3 years.  Those 3 years were the hardest of my life...and I'm sure they weren't easy for Gerry.  He went to school and studied, and I went to work and took care of children.  Their ages at this point ranged from 7 down to 2 years of age.

Though those 3 years were difficult, I have to say they were the most rewarding of our lives.  Gerry accomplished his goal and I loved being his "help-meet." In February of 1969, we headed to Southern California, where Gerry would begin his Teaching career.  His first job was part-time at a California University in Los Angeles.  He also did some night teaching at USC.  In June of 1970, we moved to Rowland Heights, and in the fall he started his full-time job at Cal-Poly University in Pomona.  He loved that job.  He got along well with his students and was looked up to by the staff, eventually becoming Head of the Geology Department (Earth Sciences).

On August 2, 1972, we welcomed our fifth and final child to the world.  Heather Colleen was a beautiful little girl and would "dance" her way into my heart.  It had been 8 years since I had JerriAnne, and I was a little rusty.  Oh, my!  We now had 4 girls and 1 boy...much to Mark's dismay!  He told me once to do him a favor and not have anymore, because he already had too many sisters!  He was their tease, but I suspect deep in his heart he really loves them.

Heather was a natural-born dancer...much like her mother.  I was elated with that.  I loved watching her dance in recitals and plays and all around the house.  Shen she was 8-years-old, we lost her daddy.  He died suddenly of a heart attack on February 7, 1981.  It was a huge loss for this family.  I didn't know how we were going to carry on without him.  For months, I was numb and would ask the Lord, "Why did He have to take my Soul-Mate?"  Why did He need him more than I did?"  I don't think I ever really got an answer that satisfied me.  I missed Gerry terribly.  But, I knew we were a forever family and we would be together again.  And somehow, I knew he would always be close by to guide me.

A new course, a new ship and a new rudder...

I don't know why Gerry had to die at such a young age...I have given up questioning.  But, at the age of 49, on February 7, 1981 he was called home to Father for another purpose.  We all miss him terribly!  Though it was a struggle at first, I had to go on.  Kim had to go on with her plans for a June wedding.  Mark had to go on with finding his purpose in life.  Debi had to go on with whatever plans she was making for her future.  JerriAnne had to go on and finish High School.  And Heather had to go on and grow up (she was only 8!).

In the beginning it was hard.  I only had a part-time job and supporting this household was no easy task.  I met with a financial advisor and cried, "Help!"  He did just that.  We set up some accounts for the two younger girls, set aside $$ for the three older ones, put away some $$ for. myself, and planned a "dream" vacation for me.  I chose a Cruise to Alaska.  It was planned for August.  I would take Debi and JerriAnne with me.

I will never forget that trip...for many reasons!  It was a first for me and having my two daughters with me was such a blessing.  I saw some of the most beautiful scenery God has to offer in this part of our world.  When we weren't touring the stops along the way (Juneau, Ketchikan and Skagway), we were at some buffet or dinner party "eating" the most wonderful food there was to offer on a Cruise.  AND, I met my "future" on the very first day on board.  His name was Dean Mickelson...14 years my younger...a Pharmacist from Taos, New Mexico (never heard of it!)

It was great fun to get to know this young man. While onboard, I never had any thoughts of any kind of a future relationship, we were both there for the trip of a lifetime on a Cruise and there was this age difference.  And the girls and I thoroughly enjoyed every minute of the Cruise.  We were there for a week.  When it was over, it was hard to say good-bye to the beautiful Sun Princess.

After our Cruise, the girls and the rest of our family met in St. George, picked up our boat (now my dad's) and headed to Lake Powell for a week.  We love that lake and water skiing and camping are great family activities that have kept us going for years.

I don't really know when the "Correspondences" began, but Dean and started writing to each other, and through the mail, we fell in love.  Crazy, huh?  By April (25th...Easter) we were married.  And the rest is history. 

 Dean and I had one son, Billy, who is the light of my life!  He is a talented young man.  He tours with his one-man-band, playing his Cello...self-taught.  He writes music that is only his and has gathered quite a following all over the world.  He is happy with his music and his life and that makes me happy for him.  He tried marriage once, but found it just wasn't working and so now he connects with only girl-friends.  He has no desire to "try again!"  I love that boy.  Our spirits connect and he is a joy to have around.  We don't always agree on everything in this crazy world and that is OK.  Those things are not important to our relationship.

Eight Decades and Still Plugging Along...

I look back over those eight decades and I can hardly believe they are gone.  Where did they go?  In a couple of weeks I will be 83 and I don't feel that old.  I have lived a good life, corrected my course several times over those years and come to a place where I am content with "the whole of it!"

My progenitors include 6 children, 19 grandchildren and 24 great-grandchildren.  This is my heritage!  This is the heritage I present to my parents and grandparents, etc.  May God bless each and everyone of them.