Out With The Old...

Every year, as December 31st arrives, I find it more and more difficult to believe that another entire year has slipped away from me.  "Have I done any good in the World?"  Have I given my all and tried to think of others instead of just myself?  Have I conquered fears or risen above my short-comings?  I honestly can't say for sure.  But, I know the past 365 days have been full of experiences that have continued to shape me in the winter of my life.

This past year I have experienced new adventures and family time together.  I have experienced times of sadness and moments of deep reflection.  I have spent long days of indecision and stepping forth on new paths. And there were many, many days when I took the opportunity to give thanks to that God who created us and knows our path and leads our footsteps.  He has given me many blessings this past year.

Twenty-thirteen has been a busy, productive, emotional year full of joy, sadness, giddiness, and sometimes falling down that slippery slope and somehow managing to pick myself up and continue on the path.

VACATIONS:  Dean and I have visited Cabo San Lucas, Mexico, family in Washington and spent meaningful days together with Billy and friends in Branson, Missouri.  I made a trip to Utah and Nevada to be with my family there.  Each trip took us away from our comfortable home in Lincoln City, and found us experiencing new adventures in new places.

CONCERTS:  My husband is a generous, giving man and he knows that I love to go to Concerts.  This past year we enjoyed the amazing talents of "10" gifted pianist on stage at the same time with "10 Grands".  Their performance was at the Schnitzer Auditorium in Portland.  It was an amazing show, with amazing music.  For Christmas, Dean gave me Concert tickets to Michael Buble at the Rose Garden in Portland.  We were "up close and personal" with that one and I enjoyed every minute of it.  I didn't want it to end.  We stayed 2 days in Portland and explored parts of the city (on foot) that we had never explored before.  Back in Lincoln City, we went to see an exceptional young man perform on the Chinook Winds stage.  His name is Scotty McCreery who has a magnificent bass voice and has grown into an amazing entertainer.  He is 20-years-old and was a winner a few years ago in one of the TV Talent shows.  Other entertainment we enjoyed was in Branson, Missouri.  There are so many good shows there and we saw many of them.  From the Presleys, to the beauty of Chinese Ballet in "Marco Polo" to the Chinese Acrobats and many others, we were entertained in Branson.

But, my favorite concert of all was when Billy came to town and performed at our Community Center as a solo act.  He and Ingrid entertained us all.  I love to watch the young man my "boy" has become.  His music has matured right along with him.  And every piece is his own.  How he keeps them all in his head, I do not know...and still he creates more.  He also joined Dean and I with our Christmas Concert at the Community Church.  He played 2 difficult accompaniments with the chorus plus one "on the fly" composition of his own.  Somehow, I managed to snag him to also play his cello for my church's Christmas Sacrament Meeting.  He played "Silent Night" with a soloist and a trio of young girls, and then played along with the Choir as we closed with that number.  His gift never ceases to amaze me.

VISITORS:  We don't often get visitors in our home, or even nearby, but we did have some special people stop by even if it was just to say hello.  The Lennis Clark's traveled from Utah to stay in the World Mark in Depoe Bay.  We only got to visit for a very short time.  The Bruce Trent's came from California and stayed a night or two.  Joan has been my friend since we were 3-years-old.  Dean's Dad made a solo trip from Washington and stayed 3 or 4 days.  It was great to have him in our home.  I got a surprise visit from 2 of my nephews--Steve and Mike Davenport-- who were passing through on their motorcycles and popped in to visit with their old "Auntie!"  It was a great visit.  And, for Christmas, Dean's brother, Dave and his wife, Miriam and their son, Zach brought dad back for a Christmas visit.  We had a great time.

THE HAPPY:  When I went to Utah in June and July, I got to stay with my sister, Chrisie, and be with her through some hard days.  Though the days were filled with sadness, they were also filled with joy as I bonded with my little sister and we have become very close.  I visited Debi and JerriAnne and got to see my #6 Great-grandson--Trey Thompson, 1st son of Randi and Travis.  He was born in March.  I also got to visit with my daughter, Heather and her family in Las Vegas, Nevada for a week.  I am always happy when I get to be with my children.  In November, Debi's sweet step-daughter (who I embrace as my own granddaughter) gave birth to a baby boy, Ryder!  What a great name.  In February, my grandson, Scott Messick returned from his Mission in South Korea...and then he married his high school sweetheart in the San Diego Temple in August.  I was not able to attend.

THE SAD:  In April, Dean's beloved mother, Betty Mickelson, passed away after a very long battle with CHF.  Though mom is free of her suffering, she is sorely missed.  Her death was preceded by the death of her sister, Ruth, by just a few short months,  Ruth's husband, Darryl, also passed away just weeks before mom.  Several family members were placed in Hospice Care.  Dean's cousin, Lorraine, gave up her home and moved to a care facility in Gresham, OR.  She has Cancer, and has opted not to treat it.  So, she remains to this day, getting weaker and weaker.  My sister's husband, Bob Kump, began his long battle with the enemy "Death" in May of this year.  I flew out to be with Chrisie while she tried to make sense out of a very sad situation.  He went from surgery in the VA Hospital in SLC to rehab to 3 different care centers and back to the VA for more surgery.  In the end, he was placed on Hospice Care and died on December 15th.  I was with Chrisie only a couple of weeks, but I wish I could have been with her through the entire illness.  My heart reaches out to her with an abundance of love.

Dean changed jobs in September.  It was a leap of faith for him to jump ship at Walgreen's, where he has worked for nearly 6 years and take a part-time position at Walmart in Newport.  It is a bit of a drive for him on the days he works, but the relief of stress and the fulfillment of promises of a better position has paid off in great measure.  He is so much happier there and more relaxed at home.  Thank you, Walmart, for giving me back my husband!

I have been kept busy this year.  Retirement is not for sissy's!  Besides my daily challenges at home, keeping the home picked up and running, I have my two callings at Church which challenge me sometimes.  I have learned that the challenges in my life are the experiences that help me to grow.  I decided to try and return to Tax Preparation by re-taking the H&R Block Tax Preparers course.  It didn't seem to be as easy as when I took it 8 years ago (and it wasn't really easy then!).  I took the Exam on December 20th, and, at this writing, I am awaiting the results.  When I was in SLC, my two daughters (Debi and JerriAnne) and I did the "Walk for the Cure" for the Huntsman Cancer Center.  The Money they raised went to help with Research in Cancer for the Center.  It was a great day and I managed to do a 5K walk without really getting tired.  I think I could have done a 10K!

And so, in only a few more hours, we will say good-bye to 2013 and welcome in the New Year with a little apprehension and a lot of anticipation for new adventures that may lie just around the corner.

RAIN-WIND-FOG....

Cape Foulweather, Oregon

On December 20th I drove to Newport to take my Tax Preparers Exam.  It was a grueling five hour exam that I really did not feel prepared for!  By the time I finished it, my brain was fried and I was really tired.  I got up once or twice, just to walk around and clear my brain and try to relax.  It was during one of the breaks that I looked out the window and watched a rainstorm brewing.

I finished my exam, both exhausted and exhilarated (because it was over), and forged my way home in what turned out to be an awful storm.  On my way home, going over the Cape, I was blinded by the rain, wind and fog that made my path difficult.   (Cape Foul Weather is aptly named because of the terrible storms there that in the early days of Oregon, before lighthouses, many a ship blinded by the storms found themselves on the rocks).  It was very hard for me to see the road, let alone maneuver the bends in it.

As I was driving through this mean storm, my thoughts turned to the storms of my life.  Some days it seems like the "rain" falls so hard on me that I can't see the path ahead.  Sometimes I just have to get a little wet to appreciate what it was like when I was dry.  There are days when I just want to stay indoors and let the storm pass.  

Like the rain, the "fog" obstructs our view and I wonder if I am going to ever get through it.  Try as I may, my brain is clouded up and trying to see through the fog there seems like an impossibility.  Throw the "wind" into the mix and you get sideways rain which obstructs the view even more.  There are days in my life when I cannot see the end of the path...I cannot hold myself upright because of the wind in my face, and the rain drives at me with such a force that I wonder, "What is it all about?"

And then there are the "tests".  We came to this earth to be tested...there is no way to escape it.  I went into my test feeling unprepared this morning and found a calm there because I had included the Lord in my preparation and He was there with me.  So it is with my life's tests.  He never leaves my side, because I invite Him to be a part of my life.  I know that as I go through these storms of my life, there will be a calm at the end.

The Lord sent His Comforter to be with all of us through our storms in life.  He promised that if we would always include Him in our daily activities, He would be there for us.  Today, I think I am even more grateful for His presence in my life to get me through the RAIN, the WIND, the FOG and the TESTS.

A Storm on the Oregon Coast

"The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want..."  (Psalm 23)

One Special Gift for Christmas...

I have a very loving family, and each and every year they present me with surprises that both delight me and make me cry at Christmastime.  Each gift is a treasure that I will forever be grateful for.

But, let me tell you about one special gift that I received this year.

About two weeks ago, my widowed neighbor, who we learned later had been ill for a while, was found dead in her home.  I was devastated...not really because she had died, because I know what death is all about, but because I am her neighbor and hadn't even noticed that she wasn't picking up her mail from the mailbox right in front of our house.  We would meet there on occasion and have a little conversation.  I didn't really know her, but I knew how lonely she was...and I did nothing to resolve that for her.  She had been gone for nearly eight days before her brother found her.  I asked myself, 'What kind of a neighbor am I, that I could not be a better friend.'  Her name was Vickie...that is all I knew about her.

On Christmas day, there came a knock on my front door, and it was my good friend Kay (my Choir accompanist) with a beautiful, blue glass float in her hand.  She handed me this gift and then began to explain.  Her daughter was a friend of Vickie's and would take meals over to her house during her illness.  Apparently, Vickie had this awesome collection of glass floats in her home...more than one hundred...and Kay's daughter knew that Vickie had expressed to her at some point that she wanted to share her floats with someone who would love them as much as she did.  And so, there was my gift!

I WILL love this glass float (which, by the way is a collector's item, as Lincoln City has a glass blowing factory where they are made, and they can be pretty pricey items!  A couple of times each year, there is a committee that gets together and hides these floats on the beach for travelers and locals alike to search out, find and keep.) just as Vickie wanted me to.  I will miss seeing my neighbor walking to the mailbox and I will miss our little chats, but I now have something to remember her by and cherish.

December...A Month of Celebration of Christ's Birth...

Like November, I wanted to take each day in December leading up to Christmas Day and devote it to the real reason for the Season.  In my heart, I love the Christmas Story told and retold, and I never tire of hearing it.  The commercialism of Christmas has taken away, somehow, from our true celebration of our Savior's Birth.  And so, I attempted to bring that back.

"The Man of Galilee, who was born to set us free."

"Christmas is a time to share our gifts, strengthen others, and do our part in the Kingdom of God.  Christmas is also a time to express our love to others and to bear our testimony of the Savior."  (Elder Robert D. Hales, of The Quorum of The Twelve)

Every other year our community gets together and sings Handel's Messiah.  I love these words, "For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given and the government shall be upon His shoulders; and His name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The Mighty God, The Everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace."  These words come from Isaiah 9:6 and they remind me who my Savior is and I shall ever be grateful for Him and the preservation of Holy scripture that tells us these things and gives us comfort.

I wrote for several days about the symbols of Christmas...each one with a new meaning that I had never thought of before.  I will write them here, so that I can preserve them.  The symbols of Christmas hold special value that many may be unaware of.

For instance, the color red, the first color of Christmas, represents Christ's blood that He shed for us so every man, woman and child can receive the gift of eternal life.  The Evergreen Tree, the second color of Christmas sustains its color year round representing everlasting life and hope.  Every needle of the evergreen points heavenward, symbolizing man's returning thoughts toward heaven.

The Evergreen Tree

The Star represents the Star of Bethlehem, which was a sign of the Savior's birth giving light to the world.  Light--that is what showed the way and lit up the heavens--and Light is the epitome of our Savior.  The Wreath is a symbol of the never ending eternal nature of love...having no beginning and no end, one continuous round of affection.  May we all generate this kind of love, so unselfishly given by our Savior, and eternally offered by God.

The Wreath

The Holly represents immortality.  The berries represent Christ's blood that was shed and the green leaves represent hope and new life.  Like the evergreen, the holly stays green all year long.  The Bell, the next symbol of Christmas represents guidance and return, reaching out to guide lost sheep back into the fold, signifying that all are precious in the eyes of the Lord.

The Bells

The Candy Cane is shaped like a shepherd's crook which was used to bring back lost lambs and represents the helping hand we should show as we are our brother's keeper.  A good reminder of Service.  The Candle represents the Lord's light upon the world.  Whether or not the world chooses to walk into His light, it is still there.

The Candy Cane

The Christmas Gift is the symbol that reminds me of two things.  The gifts given to the baby Jesus by the Three Wise Men, and the greatest gifts of all which came from God when He gave us His Son, and from Jesus Christ, himself, when he gave His life so we could live.  There is a third gift from God...the gift of the Holy Ghost.  When Christ left us, He left that great Spirit to guide us through troubled times.  And, tied so very carefully around each gift, is The Bow, which represents the brotherhood of man, tied as we should be, all of us together, with the bonds of good will toward one another.  

The Gift and The Bow

The last Christmas symbol is The Angel.  I love to place my Angel on top of my tree after it is all decorated.  The Angel represents the Angels that appeared to the shepherds the night Christ was born, bringing the message of His Birth.  I believe they still attend us in our hours of needs, carefully guiding us in the right direction.  I have had many Angels attending me in my life and I am so grateful for them.

The Christmas Angel

My list of symbols is complete, but I wanted to add one of my own.  It is the symbol of The Christmas Card.  Christmas Cards speak volumes to the receiver who embraces each and every one as a treasure connecting loved ones in distant places, speaking to friends and neighbors who are nearby, and warming the hearts of the senders as they close their eyes and see the faces of those they wish to connect with and relish in the memories of friendship and kinship.

December has been very cold and snowy up to the middle of the month.  Winter is surely upon us.  Though I do not believe our Savior's Birth was in the wintertime, it is the time that the world celebrates the event...and that is OK with me...as long as we DO celebrate His Birth!  My sister, who has been struggling with the illness of her "best friend," her husband Bob Kump, said good-bye to him on the 15th.  His fight to regain his health was in vane.  My heart is there with Chrisie, even though I cannot be.  I am so grateful for the time we spent together in June and July...her time for preparation for the ultimate loss.  His suffering is over, and now he is in the arms of our Savior, where he will learn so many truths and prepare a place for his sweetheart to join him one day.  Though no one likes to think of losing a loved one at this time of the year...as we celebrate the Savior's birth...the thought came to me that it is actually a good time to say good-bye, knowing that Christ paid the ultimate price for us and because of Him, we have everlasting life.

"...Return with me to that sacred first Christmas in Bethlehem to contemplate the birth of our Lord.  He came in the quiet of the night, in the meridian of time.  He who is Immanuel, the stem of Jesse, the Day-spring, the Lord Almighty.  His birth marked the promised visitation of the Creator to the earth, the condescension of God to man.  As Isaiah wrote of the event, 'the people that walked in darkness have seen a great light, they that dwell in the land of the shadow of death, upon them hath the light shined.'"  (Bruce D. Porter, of The Seventy)

Every day, I rejoice in the blessings of our Savior, Jesus Christ.  I pray that you, too will reflect on these things and keep "Christ in Christmas."

November...A Month of Thanks Giving...

For the entire month of November, each and every day, I posted something that I am thankful for.  In the beginning, I thought it was a daunting task, but by the end of the month I found I still had much to say and post.  Here are most of the things I am thankful for.

I am thankful for my life.  I am so very grateful that I have the privilege to be here on this amazingly beautiful earth and participate in the acts of daily living.  I love enveloping myself in the beauty of a sunrise and at the end of the day watching the sun dip into the sea (as it were) and disappear.  "There is Beauty All Around!"

I am thankful for my Heavenly Father and the knowledge that I have of Him.  I am grateful that he hears and answers prayers and sends the Holy Spirit to guide me, when I am not too distracted to listen.  I am grateful for His Son, Jesus Christ, who fulfilled His mission by coming to the Earth as a baby, grew to a man, and taught us truths that are written in the Holy Bible.  I am grateful that He did not shrink from His calling to suffer a terrible death on the cross, and on the third day, He conquered death and rose to give us ever lasting life.

I am grateful for the gift of family.  I am grateful for the ancestors who went before me and for their sacrifices to come to this land.  I am grateful that they found the Gospel of Jesus Christ and followed their hearts through many difficulties to get to the great Salt Lake Valley.  I am grateful for my grandparents and my parents, who taught me to be a disciple of Jesus Christ and look toward the Temple, just at they did in 1956.  I am grateful for my husband Gerry, who gave me a good life and five amazing children to love and learn from.  I am grateful for Dean, who rose up to the challenge twice to accept me for who I am and the children that came with me.  I am grateful for my children, who now number six plus one step-son.  Each one has blessed my life in ways that I cannot fathom.  I am grateful for the 14 Grandchildren (7girls and 7 boys) who have sprung up from the Henderson Clan; and I am grateful for the 5 (3 boys and 2 girls) who came into my life by way of marriage to two of my daughters (Debi and Heather).  I am grateful for the 5 Great Grandchildren (3 boys and 2 girls) who have come through the Henderson line; and I am grateful for the 2 (a girl and a boy) who have joined us through Debi's marriage to Bryan.  There is one more Great on the way in the spring--another boy!

I am grateful for my brother and two sisters.  They bring joy into my soul just knowing we are kin.  I am grateful for my mother and dad for giving me the gift of siblings.  And I am so grateful for my nieces and nephews who bring a great deal of joy to their families.

I am grateful for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  I have a very strong Testimony of the truthfulness of its restoration and all of its principles.  I am grateful for a Prophet who leads us today, and for all of the Prophets we have been blessed with from the beginning.  I am Grateful for the boy, Joseph Smith, who had the courage to ask Heavenly Father to lead him to the right church.  I am grateful for his fortitude to restore, lead and live the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

I am grateful for Temples that dot our world.  Each one is a special gift to the Saints and to their communities.  I am grateful that I am able to participate in Temple ordinances and do my part for those who have gone on before me--waiting anxiously for the work to be done for them.

I am grateful for the gift of music in my life.  I am grateful to parents who gave me piano lessons so I could be exposed to beautiful music.  I am grateful for the music that was always in our home when I was growing up.  I am grateful for the gift of voice so I can lift up my voice in singing praises to the Lord.  I am grateful for the music that is ever-present in my home.  I am grateful for Dean and his gift of playing the piano and the trumpet.  I am grateful for the gift that has been passed on to my children.  They all love music.  I am grateful for Billy, who has made his life's work the sharing of his musical creations with the world; and I am grateful that he is able to do so.  I am grateful for guardian angels who watch over Billy as he travels so many miles on the road each year; and for watching over all of my children in their travels and daily activities.

I am grateful for the gift of healing.  Twice in my life, I have felt the hand of the Lord in the healing processes of the surgical procedures I have had to undergo.  I am grateful for the restoration of eyesight after battling with the prospect of blindness.  I am grateful for the surgeons who were present to perform such miraculous surgeries.  I am grateful for the blessings of the Priesthood which helped me through a difficult brain surgery and took away the threat of taking away my life.  I am grateful for my own faith that assists in these times of need.

I am grateful to be able to live in this country, blessed above all other nations of the earth.  I am grateful for the freedoms that we have, earned with the blood of many faithful soldiers who fought so diligently to preserve it and bring it to the rest of the world.  Some of them gave their lives in the process; some of them lost limbs or suffered severe wounds; others came home heroes and set examples of what a brave American should be.  I am grateful for our founding fathers, who gathered together to form this great nation, who drafted two nearly perfect documents, "The Declaration of Independence" and "The Constitution" to put together this Republic.

I am grateful for the gift of travel that has allowed me to travel all over the United States and some of Europe, New Zealand, Canada, and Mexico.  I am grateful for the five states that I have called "home" at one time or another.  Each state has its own unique beauty...whether it is mountains, plains, desert, west coast, or rainy country.  I have experienced all of these, and each one has enriched my life.

I am grateful that I have been able to participate in the Educational process.  I am grateful for the Colleges and Universities I have attended and for the corresponding degrees that I have received.  I am grateful for a long career in Nursing and for all of the baby steps along the way that got me there.  I am grateful to Heavenly Father for blessing me with the gift of a desire for learning.  Life has been one of my greatest teachers and I am grateful for it.  Adversity has also been a great teacher.  Each time I conquer a trial, I come up stronger and more aware of life around me.

I am thankful for the Seasons and for the blessings that each and every one of them brings to the earth.  What a perfect plan!  Spring--the season of new birth when the earth wakes up from its long winter's nap; Summer--a season of growing beauty as flowers and trees mature and grow; Fall--a season for slowing down and watching the earth get ready for its long rest.  I love the colors of fall!  Winter--a time to rest from the long year of work.  I love the fresh falling snow on the earth, making everything so beautifully white.

I am grateful for friends who enrich my life, helping to mold me into who I am today.  Each one has brought new insight to me and teaches me that I am not alone.  I am sure there are many, many other things I could list here that I am thankful for, but suffice it to say that, if it is in my life, I am thankful for it.  Thank you, God, for everything!

On Friday, August 23, 2013, My Grandson, Scott Married His Best Friend...

On a beautiful morning at the San Diego Temple in Southern California, my grandson, Scott Messick married his forever sweetheart, McKenzie.  The date was August 23, 2013.  I am sure...in fact, I am told that it was a perfectly beautiful ceremony.  My heart and my spirit were with them, even though I could not be there in person.  My thoughts were in tune with the spirit and I felt a wonderful peace during the time they were in the Temple.

What can I say about Scott Vernon Messick.  He came to my daughter Kim's family after three girls; and I remember the joy that Kim felt with the birth of a son.  He was definitely a Messick...the spitting image of his dad, Kenny.

 He was destined to be an athlete, and as we all watched him grow up we also watched his interests turn to sports.   He followed his dad around the golf course very early and when he picked up a club, he was a natural.  He played basketball like his grandpa Gerry; and in High School, he took to Lacrosse and then to Surfing.

Surfing was his greatest love.  When he was out in the water on his long board, he felt one with the ocean.  And when he caught the perfect wave, after much patience, he rode it like a pro.

Scott met McKenzie in high school and it was love at first sight and they had that spark of eternity from the very beginning.  She waited for him during his year at BYU Hawaii and she waited for him during his two years in South Korea while he served the Lord on a Mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  It was only fitting that she would say, "yes" to his question of spending eternity with him.  None of us were surprised!

It is my wish for the happy couple that their future will be as exciting and wonderful as their past has been.  God bless you, Scott and McKenzie, as you go forward from this day and never forget to say, "I love you" every chance you get.  Stay as beautifully joined 50 years from this day as you are right now.

I love you, and pray for you, eternally..

From Motorcycles to Motorhomes, the Oregon Coast is a Favorite Destination...

One of the first clues we get on the coast that summer is not  too far distant is the influx of motorcycle caravans through our town.  They come from the north and they come from the south and I envision that they have driven many hundreds of miles up or down the Oregon Coast on Highway 101.  They come in large groups, or they come with only one or two other companions to enjoy our little town.  And I smile.

I love to see their varied motor bikes come to our town, because I know summer will soon follow.  Summer brings many travelers from all over the country to visit our seashore.  They come for the week, or they come for just the week-end, but they do come.  The population of Lincoln City triples in the summer time.  Some complain because Highway 101 can get jammed with the influx of traffic.  But, I love to see them enjoy our beaches, hillsides and mountains.  And I smile.

At the end of summer, when all the kids are getting ready for school to start again, the motorhomes show up.  Now, instead of motorcycles traveling through our town and up and down the coast, we have the huge motorhomes, pulling their little cars behind.

There are many varieties of motorhomes that visit our area.  Some are small, but most are gigantic, like big busses. 

Whatever size, these homes away from home, are the indicators that summer is coming to a close.  And I, for one, hate to let go because I know what is coming.  Here on the coast, however, we will be blessed with the month of September which brings us some of the most beautiful weather of the entire year.  I think our motorhome friends know that!  I think that is why they come.  And I smile.

I smile whenever I see these reminders of the seasons.  I smile because you are welcome here.  I smile because I live in a place that is desirable for the tourist because of its beauty.  And I smile because together we can enjoy our summer season.

Hiking to Cascade Head...

Living on the coast has so many benefits.  One of my favorites is the beauty of the forests and the ocean and the myriad of hiking trails that lead to beautiful views.

I went on a hike the other day with the Young Women and Young Men from our church.  Their leaders were also there.  I'm not a spring chick any more, and they knew I could handle this hike.  And, except for a brief asthma attack when I reached the top, I did handle it.

We walked through the woods on a clear, though sometimes muddy, path through the tall pines that are so typical of this region of the country.  While watching my steps carefully (because I am prone to tripping over things), I couldn't help note the beauty of the foliage.  God created this beauty here, as He has created beauty everywhere.  And for that, I shall be eternally grateful.

When we came out of the forest, we hiked up a grassy path, which looked like a narrow deer path to the top of Cascade Head, which jutted out into the ocean.  There we were met with a most spectacular view.

Looking south, we could see where the salmon river flows through a protected estuary to the sea.  Beyond the river, if you look carefully, there is a little protrusion at the top of the next outcropping of rock and trees and grass that juts out into the ocean.  The locals call that protrusion "the thumb", and that is the hike I took on my 70th birthday with my husband and my son, Billy.  It is really steep up that protrusion, but the view is well worth it.

Beyond that outcropping, in the haze, is Lincoln City.

The Salmon River is appropriately named.  Many a fisherman has caught his limit of salmon out of this river.  It is a favorite fishing river for miles inland.

I love our beautiful coast.  And I am grateful that we have such beauty to enjoy.  In many ways, man has been good to preserve these areas for us.  I had a wonderful hike with great kids and good leaders.  Even our new Bishop, Bishop Orton, came up the trail with us.  He stayed for a little while to enjoy the experience. 

I am looking forward to more discovery of our beautiful Oregon coastline and mountains sometime in the future.

The Four Stages of Marriage...From My Viewpoint...

Not many women have been as fortunate as I to have loved two men and been able to carry that love locked securely in her heart.  I married Gerald Vernon Henderson on June 7, 1958 in the Los Angeles Temple of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  We shared an amazing (though sometimes extremely bumpy) marriage for 22 years.  And then Heavenly Father called him home in order to let me find my way alone for a season.

 

Marriage number two (and three) took place first on April 25, 1982 in Taos, New Mexico and second, on August 8, 1999 in Eugene, Oregon.  Let me explain.  I married Dean William Mickelson when I was still struggling with my loss, and I fear that was a bad combination for a lasting relationship.  Therefore, we divorced in 1988.  By the time we were ready for the second go-around, we both had experienced a great deal of refining in our lives, and were ready to "try again." 

 

Having experienced marriage with two completely different men, I have learned a great deal about the institution that I would like to share here.  Be patient with me, however, because even at my advanced age, I am still learning.

 



 

As I see it, and this is totally based on my experiences in my own marriages, I have isolated four phases or stages of growth in a marriage.

 

 

 

STAGE ONE

 



In this first stage, accompanied by butterflies, increased heart rate, and "love blindness", two people see each other as their perfect soul-mate.  This is the necessary stage of falling in love.

That brings me to the question, "What is love?"  Antoine de Saint-Empery sees it this way.  "Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction."  Keep this definition in mind as we explore the other stages.  This definition talks to me, because it describes the properties of oneness.  And this is not something that happens instantly, as in "love at first sight".  Yes, the butterflies are there, and the "eyes for no other" are there, but it is when two people can "look outward together in the same direction" that seals their love.

These feelings are absolutely necessary for a permanent relationship to begin.  In this phase, each sees only the very best that the other has to offer, and you experience the beginnings of love.  This is the courtship, engagement, and marriage phase of the partnership you have chosen for the rest of your life.  And in many cases, it is probably a good thing that "love is blind", or else no one would ever get married!

If you are lucky or extremely gifted in relationships, you can keep this phase going for endless years.  Keep the courtship alive.  Unfortunately, most couples do not stay here.  Sooner or later, you move on into Stage Two--the stage of discovery.  This is a critical stage.

STAGE TWO

It's in this stage that you discover that that perfect person you have committed your life and love to has (do I dare say it?) flaws.  It is in this phase where relationships either grow stronger because they are willing to work through it, or it is the stage where many will say, "I've had enough.  You are not the person I married!"  And they will walk away from the growth through challenges in our relationships that imperfection will bring on.

St. Frances de Soles said this about attaining love and keeping it.  "You learn to speak by speaking, to study by studying, to run by running, to work by working, and just so you learn to love...by loving.  Begin as a mere apprentice and the very power of love will lead you on to become a master of the art."

I have lived through these phases of discovery, and there were times when I forgot that all encompassing word, "love".  When you focus on the faults or flaws of the other, you forget that you also have flaws.  This period nearly destroyed my first marriage, and it did destroy my second the first time.  Selfishness in this phase is the great destroyer.

Getting through this phase takes hard work, but when you keep God as one of your partners, and never let go of the love you have for your spouse, the two of you can work through this stage and the growth at the end makes it all so worth it.

At some point near the end of this phase, you once again reach that oneness I talked about in Stage One.  And you will comfortably flow into Stage Three, the stage where you discover you can't see where one person ends and the other begins.

STAGE THREE

"Of all the music that reached farthest into Heaven, it is the beating of a loving heart."  (Henry Ward Beecher)  I would add to this, "...it is the beating of two loving hearts as one." 

I haven't reached this phase yet...not in my first marriage, nor in my current.  I really hope I live long enough to do so.  But, I have known many elder couples who have reached this stage, and they are my role models.  One example of two people in my life who reached this stage, are my in-laws.

My greatest joy was to watch the interactions between my mother-in-law, Betty, and my father-in-law, Bill.  Bill was Betty's protector, her help-meet, her defender; Betty, up until her health failed her and she could no longer do the household chores, took the best and loving care of Bill.  She was a master chef, a great homemaker, a supporter for everything Bill did in his life.  In the last years of failing health for Betty, Bill was her care-taker and took over all of the household tasks she was no longer able to do.  These two were truly "one flesh".

STAGE FOUR

This is the last stage of a marriage.  It is either the letting go period, or the saying good-bye at the end of one's life.

I never got to say good-bye to Gerry, because he was called home so abruptly and we were just beginning to experience the beginning phases of Stage Three.  Again, the example of my in-laws comes to mind as an example of this final phase, because the loss of Dean's mother recently was one of the most beautiful displays of a life-long love between two people I have ever witnessed.

Saying good-bye is never easy, whether it is due to a sudden death or going through the final stages of a lingering illness.  Faith plays a huge role in this final phase.  Knowing what follows this life, after death, brings a comfort for the loved one who is leaving and also a comfort for the loved one left behind.  Life does not end at death.  And love does not end at death.

I don't know why I chose to write on this topic, except that I have been so touched by the experiences of my recent contact with family and friends and my observations in regard to their particular stages.  I think I would like to say to those stuck in Stage Two, don't give up!  Grab onto that love that brought you together, even if it's only a small shard.  Use it to get you through, because the rewards of Stage Three and eventually, Stage Four will be worth the journey.

FIFTY-FIVE YEARS...

 

Fifty-five years ago, hand in hand with the man I had chosen to spend not only this life with, but all of eternity, I entered through the doors of the nearly new Los Angeles Temple to begin a journey full of promise.  The date was June 7, 1957.  In that amazing setting, I was promised happiness beyond anything I could ever imagine--if I remained true to the covenants that I would make that day.  I was promised children to bless this union, and I tried to picture them in my minds eye.  They would bring me both joy and sorrow, but because of the covenants that my sweetheart and I would make that day, they would be given amazing opportunities for growth.

It was on this date that I married Gerald Vernon Henderson, a farm boy from Burley, Idaho.  It was to be a union of a country boy and a city girl.  Some would say that it couldn't last; city VS country was a lethal combination.  True, we would find conflicts because of our individual backgrounds, but we managed to succeed in spite of the warnings.  The joy I felt that day cannot be told.  The journey we began would find us traveling all over this world!

The promise of children were realized.  Together, we brought five beautiful spirits into this world.
Each one was an amazing gift from our Heavenly Father.  Each one brought their own unique personality with them and did bring joy (and sometimes) sorrow into our lives.  Each one has used their own talents and agency finding their way through their own lives.  And each one has grown into a completion for the whole which defines our lives.

Gerry was a cute little boy, son of Maggie and George Henderson.  He grew up in hard times and that gave him strengths that he would need throughout our life together.  He learned about life early, and grew up much too fast for such a precious little boy.

As he grew up, he inherited those typical Scottish freckles and sandy colored hair that belied his inheritance from the land of his forefathers in Scotland.  Those freckles and sandy colored hair were a part of him that I adored.

While we lived in Salt Lake City, Gerry served as Elder's Quorum President.  He was diligent in his willingness to serve and with his counselors did a marvelous job leading.  At times, I felt like a widow to the Quorum duties that would find him gone many nights during the week.  But, I supported him in his calling.  Looking back, I wonder if that period, like so many others in our life together, was a foreshadowing of things to come.

The other day, I was going through an old journal and came across the entries of the precious year before his death.  I never dreamed when I married him that he would leave me so soon, but I should have paid attention more to the clues he was leaving in that year.  It was a glorious year and many experiences brought us closer together.  We shared joy and we shared heartache, but the strength of my husband brought us through and we became closer than we had been all of the previous 21 years.  He taught me to find my own strengths.  He taught me that even though we go through some really hard experiences, we (with the help of God) can get through them.  We are not going to "melt"!

We celebrated our 22nd Anniversary on June 7, 1980, and in just 8 short months, on February 7, 1981, he was gone!

Gerry...I miss you so much today and always.  There are times when I fall to my knees and ask my Heavenly Father, "Why?"  and the tears flow.  And there are other times when I realize that the growth in my own Testimony and strength that I have gained over all of these years since his passing, were all in the Good Lord's vision for me.  He knew I could not grow as much as I have, had Gerry remained here.

And so, today I say, "Happy Anniversary, Gerry."  I pray you are remembering me as much as I remember you.  I love you, and I always will.

A Most Thought Provoking Question...

The other day I was getting my hair cut and my hair dresser asked me, "What was the most exciting thing you have ever done in your life?"  This question stopped me in my tracks, because no one thing popped into my head.  All I could say was, "At my age, I've done so many exciting things that I really can't pinpoint just one!"

I've stood behind Niagara Falls and watched the power of the falls as they plunged to the water below; I've climbed the stairs inside the Statue of Liberty and looked out over the amazing panorama of New York City;  I've stood at the Feet of Abraham Lincoln in the Washington, DC memorial and looked up in awe at the man who went down in history as one of the greatest American Presidents this country has ever produced;  I've walked the "trail of tears" in Nauvoo where the Saints were driven from their homes by the mobs in Illinois;  I've stood on holy ground inside nine different Temples and mingled with both the Saints there and the spirits in attendance;  I've walked on original Roman roads in York, England, and on the grounds of the Campbell Invarary Castle in Scotland;  I've visited ancient castles in both Scotland and England and wondered at the miracle of history;  and I've climbed mountains.

How does one choose which experience was "the most exciting"?  That question has haunted me ever since that day.  Could it be that my life has been so mundane that no ONE experience stands out in my mind as exciting?  Or maybe my definition of exciting is different than the average persons.

EXCITING...hmmm...what in my life has been exciting?

Was it the first time I was up on a stage, performing my very first tap routine?  That was pretty exciting to me.  Or was it the day my mother brought my new baby sister home from the hospital?  She was so tiny and I learned pretty quickly that she couldn't play with me for a very long time.  Or maybe it was my very first kiss!  That really was exciting...and wet and sloppy and yuck!  No, that wasn't it.

I think for starters, the very first most exciting experience I had was my wedding day.  It was a beautiful summer day in June, 1958.  There was no other day like it...ever!  I waited my whole life for that day.  And it didn't disappoint me...it was the most exciting day of my life.

The second most exciting experience of my life was giving birth to my first child.  No amount of preparation could ever get a girl ready to be a mother!  I read all the books, talked to lots of mothers and listened to my own mother put in her two cents worth.  None of that can teach you the absolute emotional joy of having that little tiny bundle of sunshine placed in your arms  for the very first time.  She was amazing.  I didn't ever want to put her down.

In my lifetime, I have never jumped out of an airplane with a flimsy parachute strapped to my back;  I've never  para-sailed or scuba dived or driven a race car at maddening speeds;  nor have I found myself up on the silver screen playing the part of a lifetime (although I've lived many parts in my head a million times, whenever I've watched a good movie);  I haven't traveled the world and seen all those exotic places I dream about;  and I've never sung a live duet with Barbra Streisand (though I really, really wanted to when I was a younger me).

No, the two most exciting things I have ever done in my life were to first be a wife, and second a mother.  My greatest joys have come through those two titles.  And, as I get older, the title of Grandmother, and even Great-grandmother are music to my ears.  I would have it no other way.

Thoughts on The Constitution of The United States of America...

Just as our forefather's debated over and over again on what should be included in The Constitution, (and in some cases what should not be included), the gentlemen (and women) in Washington today are debating on what should be removed.

There were differences in opinion then and there are differences in opinion now.  But, as stated by James Madison in 1788 in his Federalist Papers, "...(these papers) are intended for those who possess a sincere passion for the happiness of their country, as well as for those capable of discerning the best way to promote this happiness."  And this "pursuit of happiness" was (and should still be today) the base from which The Constitution was finally formed, voted on and ratified.  The happiness of the people was and still is what drives freedom.

As I see it, the third party involved in forming The Constitution was the Lord, and those men present at its formation were men of faith.  That element is missing in today's discussions.  Our leaders (?) in Washington have chosen not to invite the Lord to their discussion.  Hence, there is chaos at the top and it is trickling down to the citizens of this blessed country.  And the happiness of her citizens is at stake.

In my eyes, and it should be in the eyes of every God-fearing American, it is up to us--the American citizens--to begin to repair the chasm that divides us, from the bottom up; then, we must replace the darkness that enshrouds Washington, our once great Capitol, with light and let God back into our discussions.  How are we to accomplish this?  Only God knows.

I'm not a young woman anymore--I wish I was, but I will not stand by and watch my beloved Country and The Constitution that blesses it, be burned to ashes before my eyes.  As long as I am able, I will fight to the end to defend these God given freedoms.  Our forefathers shall not have died in vein.  God's army will rise up and defend every liberty that our forefathers so valiently fought to preserve.

GOD BLESS AMERICA, NOW AND FOREVER!

 

Cinco de Mayo...

I know, I know, I know...Cinco de Mayo fell on a Sunday, and we shouldn't have had any fun...but...we did go to church and after church enjoyed some of the most amazing activities I have ever seen.  (And that includes all of my growing up years in Southern California, where Cinco de Mayo is celebrated in big ways.)

We saw a Mariachi Band that entertained at the local Mexican Restaurant.  They were outstanding and, as always, so friendly with the audience.  I love their joyous spirit.

Performing at our local Cultural Center, was the Charro Horsemanship show.  I wasn't prepared for what I saw these amazing and beautiful horses do.  They paraded with heads and tails high, they danced and they all looked as though they absolutely loved it..

Mr. Jose Solano brought this wonderful entertainment to us.  And we learned about the Cinco de Mayo history.  It is a celebration (mostly in the west) "to honor Mexican heritage and the contributions of the Mexican-American community." " Historically it celebrates the Battle of Puebla of May 5, 1862, in which the Mexicans defeated a larger French army."  (From an article in the Today publication in Lincoln City.)

The horses ridden by the Mexican cowboys were "Andalusian, Friesian and Azteca horses that perform intricate dances and movements."  "The Andalusian horses are of the same stock as the famed Lippizzaner stallions of Vienna, and all are descendants of horses from the renowned Royal Andalusian School of Equestrian Art in Jerez de la Frontera, Spain."  (Same article.)

We found the horses astounding and the movements sometimes unbelievable.  I have never seen a horse "tap dance" before.  But these did, on a wooden stage!  Mark and Terrie, you would have loved these horses.  They were truly amazing!

After the horse show, we ventured inside for a delightful display of color as the Papalotl Mexican folk dance company of Kenya Marquez performed for us.  We were treated with a variety of dances...some of them familiar to me as the dances I learned when I was a young girl.  It was thoroughly enjoyable.

All in all, it was a festival to remember.  And to top off the entertainment, we ate authentic Mexican Street Tacos from the booth provided for the crowds.  Yum.  They are my favorites!  Piled high with beans and pork and tomatoes and lettuce and cheese and lots of homemade salsa.

It was a good day.  Next year, it won't be on Sunday, so I won't have to feel guilty for attending.

Hola!  Viva la Mexico!  Viva la America!